The Nest: Half Empty or Half Full?

This past year has flown by. I honestly don't know what happened to it, but here we are almost to the end of the year and it's a time for reflection. This year was a milestone year in our family. Our daughter got married. Of course I'm thrilled. But I have to say that no one ever trains us moms for the "empty nest". Sure, everyone talks asks, "how're you doing with the empty nest?", or you hear about empty nesters, but until you've gone through it, you don't know what it's about.
 
My daughter and I are very close. I was a single mom for many years, so it compounded that closeness. We have gone through everything together. School, cancer, mother/daughter camping trips, you name it. So as her wedding day approached, I know we both started anticipating the big changes that were going to be coming up. It says in the Bible - regarding marriage --that a man shall leave his mother; and a woman shall leave her home. We all know this, right? In prep for "leaving home", the week before her wedding, I took off from work. I wouldn't trade that week for anything. It was our time together. We moved her things to her new home (all except the essentials til the wedding day), we got her unpacked and situated, set up her kitchen, and spent mom/daughter time together. And one of the days we just had a good old cry! We knew the wedding was just days away. We knew she was marrying her true love, we knew it was the right thing, at the right time, but all of a sudden, we were hysterical. And it wasn't panic, or nerves about the wedding. It was just about change. About life. About growing up. But that cry did us both a lot of good, and it seemed that it was what we needed. Yes, things would be different. But the love between us would be the same. We wouldn't be living together, but hey, there was always unlimited texting. : )

So the wedding day came, and it was like a dream. She was beautiful in her wedding gown, and my son in law was dashing in his tuxe. The wedding ceremony was beautiful, and meaningful, and blessed; the reception was fun. Everything went off without a hitch, and off they went on their honeymoon. And then we get to the empty nest. I tried very hard to back off a bit. I wanted her to adjust to her new life. And have fun on her honeymoon so I was good. I didn't call or text. The hardest thing was not hearing from her daily. I'd wonder where they were, what they were doing. And then they came home from the honeymoon, and it was even harder. At least while they were away, she had reason why we couldn't see each other. But back in town ....I know, I know, it sounds silly. But you have your child with you for 25 years, and then in one day, she's out of the house, all grown up, and a wife!

Those three weeks after the wedding were the hardest. The nest was empty. And then Sunday came and she said they were coming to church and then coming over afterward. At church that Sunday, my daughter and son in law received and distributed the Kiss of Peace. Der Hayr announced them as the newest family of our church. And I felt so happy to see them there, together, participating, worshipping. After church they came over for lunch. And I saw how happy they were together. Not cheesy happy, but just "at ease" and natural happy. And I realized something: That my daughter is right where she is supposed to be. It was her time to get married. And God blessed her with a wonderful husband who loves and cares for her. And the nest is not really half empty, but half full!

Today is Thanksgiving. We just came home from my daughter and son-in-law's home. It was their first Thanksgiving, and they invited us over. It was a blessed day. There they were, working together to make the meal..making new traditions. My daughter is a nurse and works nights. She had just come home in the morning to start cooking. He had made the turkey and gravy, and they were working together to make everything perfect. The table was set, the Thanksgiving prayer was said. I looked around and saw my grown up daughter (who will always be my baby) and her husband, and then I saw the bigger picture as well. There I was, surrounded by family...our new inlaws (my khunamies), and the grandmas, my son, my husband.  Family.

Our family had grown and was full and alive. I am truly blessed. I will always be a mom. The bond that I share with my daughter will always be. And now I get to share with my new son. I am thankful for my beautiful family, the love that we share, and my nest, which is not only "half full", but truly full, and over flowing with love!

Who Knows Where the Time Goes!?

I can't believe that I haven't posted since February.  I was just directing someone to my blog when I came here myself and wham....wow, what happened?  Is it possible that six months has past since I last visited?  I guess so.

Life is hectic, but good.  There's a lot to write about but given that I'm at the office on my lunch break, I'll just touch on a few things and then come back and revisit them in a few days.....or next year (okay, hopefully not that long). 

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee  (Camping trip 08/2011)

The main excitement that it going on in my life right now, is that my baby girl Ani, is getting married in just 46 days.  Although this is super exciting, and I am blessed with knowing that she has a wonderful fiance that we love very much, it's still going to be a big adjustment for me.  While we're busy figuring out what we're doing with hair, make up, logistics of the wedding day, photos, and limos and such, I'm also balancing the emotions that come with being a mom of an incredible daughter who is also my best friend -- who I have been sharing a home with for 25 years on a day to day.  We share this bond though, and that's the beautiful thing.  It's going to be weird not to have Ani at home any longer,  but there is always unlimited texting.  : )  And I know in my core, that although it's going to be different, "different' doesn't mean bad.  It just means different.  And new.

As a mom, it's a pretty amazing thing.  Ani will always be my baby, but she's really grown up to be a phenomenal woman, a pediatric nurse, a creative blogger and crafter, a compassionate and beautiful soul.   I'm so proud of her....(actually, proud of both my children).  And I'm looking forward to see how they will grow and reinvent themselves in the years to come. 

A month or so ago, Neddy and I had gone out for our anniversary.  And we were sitting there having dinner.  We had just celebrated Ned's birthday - surprise party style - and he said to me, "on my next big birthday, I don't think I could handle a surprise party again!"  And we started thinking about the future, and what the next ten years would hold for us, through God's grace.  My stepdaughter (Ned's daughter) is expecting her first child in December.  Ani and Eric are getting married.  In ten years' time, perhaps my son will also find his soulmate.  We sat there flash-forwarding to family vacations with grandchildren, hugs and sticky kisses.  It was so beautifully surreal.  Life goes on and it's wild how much change can happen in such a short time.

And then I started thinking backward too..  Just a little over a year ago, I underwent surgery for cancer.  Two types of cancer last year.  Two surgeries.  Lots of challenges, and lots of good stuff too.  Lots of happiness mixed in with the tough times.  And it's all behind me now...and then there's a whole lot in front of me too!

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” - Albert Einstein

I thank God for the miracles!!!

Fall Seven Times -- (One Week Post Op)

I went back to work this week -- Wait!  It was only yesterday.  Geez...okay, so you can tell how exhausting it's been....felt like Thursday.  Thankfully, I don't have a physically demanding job -- I work at a computer all day -- but still, sitting in one place and dealing with work demands has been draining.


The drain site is still sore even though the drain is out.  It's going to take time to heal.  I am still heavily bandaged...and I always forget to allow extra time to my morning/evening routine.  Changing dressings takes me an extra 10 minutes.  I was told that there can be absolutely NO PRESSURE applied to the wound site, so I have layer upon layer of gauze stacked up to help me achieve this.  
Tomorrow is my post op appointment with the surgeon.  I'm curious if he'll remove the stitches.  The Steri-Strips are still in place (they haven't fallen off yet like they said they would).  We'll see.


Another big change has been that Ani has started working the night shift at Children's Hospital.  This is going to be a "regular" thing for the next year.  I'm so used to having her around.  And now, when she's working, I don't get to see her but for an hour, when I come home and she's getting ready to leave.  We are getting creative in our texting.  I've been staying up late working on jewelry, and we'll send a text here and there at odd hours just to "check in".  But the house is quiet now, and it's a big change for me.  That, coupled with the darkness after the time change, and it's a bit gloomy.  : (


That being said though, all in all, I am feeling optimistic.  I have been thinking a lot about this past year now that we're just a couple months from the end of it.  It's been a tough ride, and 
I'm ready for the New Year to start.  But I am also grateful.  Yes, it's been a tough year...but I am alive!  I made it through, and I'm still fighting!  : )  

"Fall 7 times - stand up 8." Japanese Proverb That's it right there.  Just keep on standing up!  Keep fighting for what you believe in.  Life is precious!

In Praise and Appreciation of My Mom

It's day one of post-op.  I got the call yesterday from my mom.  "I'm coming over to help."  I am blessed to have such a sweet mom.  At 78, she has health issues of her own: arthritis in her knees, back and shoulder.  Still, when her babies are hurting, she wants to be there for them.  I had to admonish her this time, "Mom, I love that you're coming, but please, don't bring food!"  Even though she agreed, I know that she's bringing something that she deems "healthy" for me.  So maybe some fruit, or some Trader Joe's tomato/red pepper soup, some produce that she picked up at the Armenian market.  She won't come empty handed.  That's how she is.

My mom has always been there for me.  She has been my mom, my friend, my prayer support.  To this day, when we go to visit her, or drop her off, she stands at the door waiting for us to pull out of the driveway.  I tell her to relax, we can show ourselves out, but she stands there so she can pray after us for a safe 3 mile journey home.  I have to say there is comfort in this....as a mom myself now, I do the same when Ani leave for work every morning (really early...even on weekends!).   I make her wake me to say goodbye.  I stand at the door and say a prayer for her, for my son, for my family...that God keep them safe and wrap them all in the wings of His angels.

This year, with all my surgeries, we have had a lot of mother/daughter time as I have spent over 10 weeks off work recuperating from the cancers.  This week I'm off 4 days.  Our time together is good.  I am more of a "peace and quiet" person...I like to read or listen to music.  Mom is more of a TV person.  She likes to fill me in on all the shows that I miss while I'm at work.  This runs the gamut from The Doctors, to Judge Judy, Dr. Oz, Oprah (back when she was in her final series) and of course, Dr. Phil.   For the time that I'm home recuperating, when mom is over, we have the TV on.  It's always great to shut it off at the end of our time together...but don't get me wrong, when we are together, it's a change of pace for me as well and I love the time that we share talking through the show, predicting outcomes.  I'm always the cynic when it comes to Dr. Phil and his advice, or Dr. Oz and his generalizations about how this/or that is good for the general populace.  But she doesn't listen to me.   She takes notes during Dr. Oz, and goes and researches the various vitamins.  At 78, I have to say, she has taken a few falls and thank God, she hasn't broken anything (knock on wood!), so I'm guessing all the vitamins are working for her!

Then there are the books and magazines.  My mom is an avid reader.  She is usually reading a couple books at a time.  These are either financial self help books, or biographies about anyone and everyone (Dr. Phil's wife, Winona Judd, and who knows who else.)  When she finishes these books, she always brings them to me to read.  I never accept them because I don't have time to read the books that I'm reading.  But she tries.  : )  She also brings over magazines with notes written on the cover as to what page the articles I should read are on.  These articles range from news on refinancing our home (which we've been trying unsuccessfully to do), finances, health articles, breaking news about how chocolate is good for you, and how a handful of blueberries can help stave off cancer.)

So I'm sitting here, knowing that mom is coming over soon.  And I'm so grateful and feel so blessed for the relationship that I share with her.  Our time together is precious to me and I am blessed to have such a wonderful, warm and caring mom in my life.   When she comes over, I'm going to share this with her...and I know that she'll get her "bunny nose" -- as we call it -- when she gets all choked up and her nose crinkles.  She's the best.  I love you, mom!