ITP #9: It's time to head back to school. Whether you're a student, or a parent, the new school year can be an emotional time. On this week's Inside the Pomegranate, Anush takes a look at letting our kids go so that they can learn some of life's lessons on their own.
Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
Look for Inside the Pomegranate on BluBrry
Subscribe to Inside the Pomegranate by Email
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Play Now:
Showing posts with label Pomegranate and Eye. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pomegranate and Eye. Show all posts
19 August 2013
Off to School
We just got home today from a week's vacation. It's kind of sad to have it come to an end because we had such an amazing time. For several years now, the state of Oregon has been calling to me: "Anush.....anush.....come to oregon..." Okay, not spooky like that...but I've had this feeling that I have to go to Oregon for some reason. Neither my husband, nor I had ever been there, so this year, when we were thinking about vacation, I pulled a double whammy and said, "Hey Neddy....this year, for vacation, I want to go to Oregon." "Okay...what's there?" "I have no idea." Always up for an adventure, he agreed.
Well, how has your week been? You heard that mine was great. If you have children you know that either last week or this week is when schools are starting back up. I was thinking back on the start of the new school year when I was in elementary and junior high school. Until recently, I think, the start of the school year was right after Labor Day, right? For some reason it's in August now. Anyways, there was great anticipation in starting a new year at school New lunchboxes, new notebooks and PeeChee folders (remember those?). And then on the first day you'd need to bring your books home and cover them all. We'd use the brown paper bags from the grocery to cover our books. New markers or crayons for projects...and a new eraser...the pink kind. The Asian girls in my class always had the really cool plastic erasers from Japan that smelled sweet. I was always jealous of them because of their scented erasers.
Then the second part of the whammy. "Let's go camping up the Oregon coast!!" Although I have quite a bit of camping experience, and Ani and I have gone on mother/daughter camping trips, this was my husband's first time camping. And I figured he's either going to love it or hate it, but I thought what's the harm of trying. So I made the reservations and booked some very beautiful campsites on the Oregon Coast and off we went. And I've got to say that it was incredible. And I have created a camper out of him!
The beaches are wide and expansive and clean. If you love looking for shells, like I do, this is a great place to go shell collecting. And rock collecting. There are some really interesting agate beaches with beautiful pebbles. And there are trees, trees and more trees. The drive up the coast is lined with forests. Huge redwoods. And just the sight of it all makes you really appreciate God as the greatest artist of all. The trees, the birds, the scenery, and colors in the sunset were all miraculous. Sure, I live in California which also has the coast right there, but in Oregon there were miles and miles of pristene beaches...unspoiled. The industry up there is timber and fishing, so great little towns dotting the coast and lots of friendly people.
We roughed it...slept in a tent. Cooked out on the coleman stove, and although we weren't hugely successful at keeping our campfire going, it was good enough!! So the whole experience was great. My husband's one indulgence, or goal was getting a Dairy Queen every day for a Peanut Buster Parfait. He's from Chicago, and I guess Dairy Queens are common there but not in CA. So when he saw the Dairy Queens dotting the coast, all was right with the world. Did you know there's no sales tax in Oregon? And you can't pump your own gas. Seriously. We covered from Brookings to Astoria and back. And on the way home we made a stop in San Francisco to visit my younger brother and his family before heading home. All in all, in 8 days we drove a total of 2015 miles! I'll post some photos of our trip on my blog. If you'd like to see, please visit www.pomegranateandeye.com.
Well, how has your week been? You heard that mine was great. If you have children you know that either last week or this week is when schools are starting back up. I was thinking back on the start of the new school year when I was in elementary and junior high school. Until recently, I think, the start of the school year was right after Labor Day, right? For some reason it's in August now. Anyways, there was great anticipation in starting a new year at school New lunchboxes, new notebooks and PeeChee folders (remember those?). And then on the first day you'd need to bring your books home and cover them all. We'd use the brown paper bags from the grocery to cover our books. New markers or crayons for projects...and a new eraser...the pink kind. The Asian girls in my class always had the really cool plastic erasers from Japan that smelled sweet. I was always jealous of them because of their scented erasers.
New school clothes. The funny part about living in CA and back to school clothing is that mom would buy us fall clothing....the plaids and the socks and tie shoes and sweaters. Of course we'd want to wear new clothes on the first day of school, so there's everyong all in their fall finery, except that the temperatures here in So Cal are in the 80s and 90s...hardly the cool crisp weather the clothing is meant for. But back then, in the 70's, there were dress codes. Shorts and tshirts were not allowed in school. Neither were sandals. So we dealt with it.
So as I mentioned earlier, on the way back down from Oregon we stopped in San Francisco for one evening to visit my younger brother, sister in law, and my nephew Vartan who will be starting Kindergarten this coming Monday. After spending a very fun evening playing Pengaloo and Pikachu with him in his little igloo tent in the living room, the following morning were were able to attend Vartan's play day, a nice little get together of all the kindergarten classes at Vartan's new school. We all met at the park, and each child was given a lei that coincided with the class they'd be in. Vartan's lei was yellow....so immediately, he went in search of other children that had yellow leis on the playground. It was neat to see his interaction with his new classmates....and in turn, it good to see the interaction of my brother and sister in law with the parents of Vartan's new classmates as well.
To those of us who have been there, and done that with our children, we know how difficult it is that first year. Sending your baby off to school to fend for themselves can be very emotional. As my brother and I stood together at the park, taking it all in, I saw him searching the playground for Vartan, making sure he was making friends. Wanting to go up and check in with him, but being a strong daddy and holding back and letting him out there on his own. But yet still present.
There's so much to learn when you're just starting out. How to share, how to take turns, how to listen and not interrupt. And then the realization that you're not the center of your teacher's universe like you are to your parents. Being that we were visiting, I was trying to get some pictures of him and went up to him on the playground to see whta he was up to. There was a play train in the yard and Vartan was behind the wheel. In front of him was another compartment...the engine compartment, and behind him other cars. When I approached him he looked concerned. When I asked what was bothering him he said,
"That girl is in the engine compartment."
I said,"Well, maybe she's the engine mechanic?"
He answered, "But I'm the engine mechanic".
I said, "Well, you're behind the wheel...I think you're the engineer...and she's the mechanic." "But I'm both!", he said. "I am the engineer, AND the mechanic...I do everything on this train!"
I think this is the big lesson of kindergarten and of course, of life: You CAN do everything yourself in life, but it's so much more fun when you allow others to share in your adventure. I told him that Kindergarten was going to be different. He'd have a lot of friends that would all want to share in the fun. And that everyone had to play together. I don't know if he bought it, but I could see him thinking about it. And as I walked back toward my brother, I looked over my shoulder and Vartan had turned to the kids in the passenger cars behind him and was saying, "Everybody get ready. This training is leaving and it's going to Los Angeles!" : ) And the little girl? she was still in the engine compartment...as the mechanic!
And then there's us parents. The start of school is an adjustment for us as well! My sister in law has been a stay at home mom since Vartan was born. Embracing motherhood and makiing sure that my nephew had diverse and challenging experiences, she signed Vartan up for all kinds of classes, workshops, activites that the both of them would attend. Because of this, he's very well adjusted, social and makes friends easily. And he has a super imagination too. Now, suddenly, it's going to be different for his mom as she'll find herself alone while he's at school. It's tough to let go now and allow all those experiences to come to an end and let the love and nurturing to do their thing.
It's like this for all our lives, no matter how old our children are. My sister had posted photos of my two neices on their first day of school and wrote a comment on Facebook about how they were growing up and she remembered that song from Mama Mia...about how her kids were "slipping through her fingers." One just started 5th grade, and the other high school. I was thinking, "Just wait....til they start dating, and college...and weddings..etc." It all flies by so quickly.
And then there's the big move if they're attending college away from home. Suddenly after high school graduation, our kids are packing up and moving out....clothes and dorm room stuff, hot pots and ramen noodles. Bedding and blankets. And their rooms are empty until they come back for holidays or summer. And then life after college: I remember last year when I wrote about my "empty nest" and how I felt after my daughter got married. It's much the same as that first day of school. All of life is like a series of hills....start school, climb up through the grades, graduate. Start a new school and you're down at the bottom of the hill again...you start the climb... freshman, sophmore, junior, senior....graduate...then start over with college back down at the bottom. And then after school, real life. And the same with new jobs...starting at the bottom, working your way up. If you change career's you're back at the bottom.
We love our children. We nurture and provide for them. We teach them life lessons that we've gone through but that they can only learn if they experience it themselves. It's our job to instill in them self confidence, curiosity, compassion, love, kindness, self-preservation and faith. We pray for them....for their safety, for wisdom, for good friends and good judgment. And then, when it's time, we have to let go...and let God guide them. We have to have faith that we have done our best....and then believe that all our prayers are being heard and that God is holding our children in his loving hands and wrapping them safely in the wings of his angels.
To all of you starting off a new school year...whether students or parents. If you're a student, I wish you a successful school year with happy memories, new friends, a natural curiosity and a joy of learning. And wishing our parents out there peace and faith in knowing that our children are right where God has intended them to be when we have raised them in a love-centered/God-centered home. Oh, and one more thing: College students....be patient with us parents and realize that it's hard for us to let go too. Send us a text message and check in once in a while. Call home on the weekends. Because we miss you more than you know.
And finally, I'm writing this on Asdvadzadzin, the Feast of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary. I wanted to wish all of you Mary's out there...Mariams, Mar's, Marianas, (And all you Mary-name derivatives) and my sister Susan - who is a Surpouhi, a very blessed Name Day! Anoonovut Abreek!!
****************
If you'd like to hear the audio version of this blog, it's available for download on epostle.net, iTunes, Stitcher radio and blubrry.
To those of us who have been there, and done that with our children, we know how difficult it is that first year. Sending your baby off to school to fend for themselves can be very emotional. As my brother and I stood together at the park, taking it all in, I saw him searching the playground for Vartan, making sure he was making friends. Wanting to go up and check in with him, but being a strong daddy and holding back and letting him out there on his own. But yet still present.
There's so much to learn when you're just starting out. How to share, how to take turns, how to listen and not interrupt. And then the realization that you're not the center of your teacher's universe like you are to your parents. Being that we were visiting, I was trying to get some pictures of him and went up to him on the playground to see whta he was up to. There was a play train in the yard and Vartan was behind the wheel. In front of him was another compartment...the engine compartment, and behind him other cars. When I approached him he looked concerned. When I asked what was bothering him he said,
"That girl is in the engine compartment."
I said,"Well, maybe she's the engine mechanic?"
He answered, "But I'm the engine mechanic".
I said, "Well, you're behind the wheel...I think you're the engineer...and she's the mechanic." "But I'm both!", he said. "I am the engineer, AND the mechanic...I do everything on this train!"
I think this is the big lesson of kindergarten and of course, of life: You CAN do everything yourself in life, but it's so much more fun when you allow others to share in your adventure. I told him that Kindergarten was going to be different. He'd have a lot of friends that would all want to share in the fun. And that everyone had to play together. I don't know if he bought it, but I could see him thinking about it. And as I walked back toward my brother, I looked over my shoulder and Vartan had turned to the kids in the passenger cars behind him and was saying, "Everybody get ready. This training is leaving and it's going to Los Angeles!" : ) And the little girl? she was still in the engine compartment...as the mechanic!
And then there's us parents. The start of school is an adjustment for us as well! My sister in law has been a stay at home mom since Vartan was born. Embracing motherhood and makiing sure that my nephew had diverse and challenging experiences, she signed Vartan up for all kinds of classes, workshops, activites that the both of them would attend. Because of this, he's very well adjusted, social and makes friends easily. And he has a super imagination too. Now, suddenly, it's going to be different for his mom as she'll find herself alone while he's at school. It's tough to let go now and allow all those experiences to come to an end and let the love and nurturing to do their thing.
It's like this for all our lives, no matter how old our children are. My sister had posted photos of my two neices on their first day of school and wrote a comment on Facebook about how they were growing up and she remembered that song from Mama Mia...about how her kids were "slipping through her fingers." One just started 5th grade, and the other high school. I was thinking, "Just wait....til they start dating, and college...and weddings..etc." It all flies by so quickly.
And then there's the big move if they're attending college away from home. Suddenly after high school graduation, our kids are packing up and moving out....clothes and dorm room stuff, hot pots and ramen noodles. Bedding and blankets. And their rooms are empty until they come back for holidays or summer. And then life after college: I remember last year when I wrote about my "empty nest" and how I felt after my daughter got married. It's much the same as that first day of school. All of life is like a series of hills....start school, climb up through the grades, graduate. Start a new school and you're down at the bottom of the hill again...you start the climb... freshman, sophmore, junior, senior....graduate...then start over with college back down at the bottom. And then after school, real life. And the same with new jobs...starting at the bottom, working your way up. If you change career's you're back at the bottom.
We love our children. We nurture and provide for them. We teach them life lessons that we've gone through but that they can only learn if they experience it themselves. It's our job to instill in them self confidence, curiosity, compassion, love, kindness, self-preservation and faith. We pray for them....for their safety, for wisdom, for good friends and good judgment. And then, when it's time, we have to let go...and let God guide them. We have to have faith that we have done our best....and then believe that all our prayers are being heard and that God is holding our children in his loving hands and wrapping them safely in the wings of his angels.
To all of you starting off a new school year...whether students or parents. If you're a student, I wish you a successful school year with happy memories, new friends, a natural curiosity and a joy of learning. And wishing our parents out there peace and faith in knowing that our children are right where God has intended them to be when we have raised them in a love-centered/God-centered home. Oh, and one more thing: College students....be patient with us parents and realize that it's hard for us to let go too. Send us a text message and check in once in a while. Call home on the weekends. Because we miss you more than you know.
And finally, I'm writing this on Asdvadzadzin, the Feast of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary. I wanted to wish all of you Mary's out there...Mariams, Mar's, Marianas, (And all you Mary-name derivatives) and my sister Susan - who is a Surpouhi, a very blessed Name Day! Anoonovut Abreek!!
****************
If you'd like to hear the audio version of this blog, it's available for download on epostle.net, iTunes, Stitcher radio and blubrry.
PHOTOS of our TRIP to OREGON!!!
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| Day 1: Prairie Creek Campground in the CA Redwoods. Car camping in my car. Me, the Tree Hugger! |
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| Day 2: Loved the bridges, the Heceta Head Lighthouse and the Sasquatch Sculptures as we made our way to our campground at Cape Lookout |
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| Day 3: Sand Dollar collecting on the beach at Cape Lookout, Tillamook Cheese Factory, Seaside and Astoria Oregon. |
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| Day 4: Yaquina Head Lighthouse, Whale watching at Depoe Bay, Tidepools at Nye Beach in Newport and watching the Sunset with Jiffy Pop back at our campground |
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| Day 5: Finishing up the sketchook project, Driving down to our new campsite at Sunset Bay, driving through Northbend and crossing the 45th Parallel |
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| Day 6: Picking berries at our campsite for breakfast, packing it up and visiting Coos Bay, and Bandon by the Sea and some of the beautiful beaches at Ophir and Cape Sebastian...ending up in Crescent City |
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| Day 7: Driving down to San Francisco and making a stop at Coppola Winery to visit our vine (tagged in 2009) Spending time with our nephew Vartan |
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| Day 8: Time with family and our drive back home! 2015 miles!!! |
12 August 2013
My Armenian Orthodox Rosary (Audio)
ITP # 8: Ever wish the Armenian Orthodox church had prayed the rosary? Anush does. Tune in to learn about her
own Armenian Orthodox rosary (and even how to make one yourself!) It's all on this week's episode 8 of Inside
the Pomegranate!
Links: Blog: www.pomegranateandeye.com
I Confess with Faith
Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
Look for Inside the Pomegranate on BluBrry
Subscribe to Inside the Pomegranate by Email
Get Inside the Pomegranate on iTunes
Play Now:
Links: Blog: www.pomegranateandeye.com
I Confess with Faith
Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
Look for Inside the Pomegranate on BluBrry
Subscribe to Inside the Pomegranate by Email
Get Inside the Pomegranate on iTunes
Play Now:
My Armenian Orthodox Rosary
 |
| Here's my coral rosary with 24 beads and a cross |
Most days, I take the bus to work in the mornings, and often times, I see riders with their rosaries, fingering them during their morning commute. I like that. I like the discipline of praying the catholoc rosary, though I am not a catholic. But I have found myself wishing that our Armenian Orthodox faith had something like a rosary, because I find comfort in reciting prayer in a "formula" fashion. I find that it's a way for me to quiet my thoughts and to help me focus. And I suppose I like the ritual aspect of it as well. The fact that praying a rosary is a "set" prayer appeals to me.
Several years ago, during my lenten journey, I started focusing on the 24 prayers of St. Nerses Shnorhali. The Havodov Khosdovanemk or I confess with faith These 24 prayers are said in our church during our lenten Huskoom service. There is one prayer for each hour of the day, but during our evening service, we say them in succession. My grandmothers are my heroes. When the going has gotten tough for me, i often think about them and all they went through, and it gives me strength. Both of them were genocide survivors. And both were complete opposites of one another. But both were strong women of faith. My grandmothers knew these 24 prayers by heart. And I imagine that reciting these prayers gave them comfort in the darkest time in their lives. I decided, about 6 years ago, to memorize these prayers, but to memorize them in the language which I was most familiar with...English.
I had received a copy of these prayers from church and tucked them in my purse. Then on one busride, as I watched the woman across the aisle from me praying her rosary, I decided that I was going to learn my prayers as well. So I started with the first. "I confess with faith and adore you, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Uncreated and immortal essence, creator of angels, of humans and all that exists. Have mercy upon all your creatures and upon me a manifold sinner." That busride was when i decided to learn the first of the 24 prayers. I would read a sentence, close my eyes, think about the sentence, and try to repeat it in my head. I'd do something else and then come back to it, and try to remember what I had learned. I'd check myself against the paper in my hand. If I had the sentence right...I'd learn the second sentence...and then repeat it, but only after I had repeated the first sentence before it. Each bus ride I'd add another 2 or 3 sentences, always reinforcing what I had learned prior. Each week, I was learning about 2 prayers and finally, I had them all memorized. It took months, but it made my busride meaningful, and my prayer life was increasing. As I learned the prayers, I thought about them. Each one of them ended with "Have mercy upon all your creatures and upon me a manifold sinner." Okay, what was a manifold sinner? When I was in 12th grade, I took auto shop for a year and rebuilt the engine of my first car....but I that is a whole different Oprah...but in my head a manifold was an exhaust manifold. I didn't like that....so i searched other translations...and found one that substituted the word "great" Have mercy upon all your creatures and upon me a great sinner.
Then the word "creature" was kind of bugging me. I kept thinking of the creature from the black lagoon. But creature means "anything that is created". So I ended each prayer with, "have mercy upon all your creation and upon me a great sinner." And that was a better fit. It just made more sense to me.
So this became my busride prayer. I would start when I first borded the bus, and finish with the 24th prayer by the time we were on the freeway heading toward Eagle Rock, about ten miles away. And I started seeing how having a physical rosary to hold might help to keep track of which prayer I was on if I got distracted (which is easy to do on the bus). So made myself a rosary. I used a piece of leather cord, and adding a cross to the center, I added 12, equidistant knots in the leather on each side making a knot for each prayer. That's it. It's very simple and unpretentious. I also made one with some coral beads that I had...and I keep that one in my car. I use those sometimes when I'm driving.
These prayers have brought me a lot of comfort. They are in my mind when I walk around downtown L.A.; if I'm feeling troubled; if I'm stuck in traffic; when I'm having trouble falling asleep and I can't clear my mind, or when I'm feeling overwhelmed with too much to do.
Sometimes I will choose one to reflect on. Othertimes, it's a way for me push myself to thinking. I'll start with the last one first and go backward in order. Since each of the prayers are individual, each is a complete prayer by itself. Prayers 3-24 have a different name for Christ starting each prayer. Sometimes I"ll only pray the names: Heavenly Father, Son of God, Spirit of God, Uncreated Essence, Beholder of all, Searcher of Secrets, All provident Lord, Living fire, Jesus wisdom of the father, Lord, Heavenly King, Bestower of Mercy . Benificent Lord, and so on.
And I definitely have my favorites. I think most of us have recited the Bahaban Amenaynee or O Christ Guardian of all. And if you're active in Armenian Orthodcox church life, you know the O Jesus, Wisdom of the father, prayer because that's usually the prayer said before meetings when we ask God to grant us wisdom that we may think, speak, and do that who's is good in His sight. I think the most amazing of these prayers is the 22nd, which asks God to, "Forgive all my enemies, and those who hate me, the trespasses they have committed against me. Turn them from the malice they bear toward me that they may be worth of your mercy." Mind blowingly cool, right? Think about it. Not only am I asking forgiveness for my enemies and those that hate me, but I'm asking for forgiveness for them, why? So that they can know God's mercy. Ultimate forgiveness. Not forgiving for my sake, but so they can share in the beautiful gift of God's mercy. Repaying your enemy with something so beautiful and precious that you want to share with even someone who has done you wrong.
Another favorite of mine is this one "Beneficient Lord, commit me to a good angel that I may deliver up my spirit in peace and convey it undisturbed by the malice of evil spirtis under the heavens." I just think that's so beautiful....when the time comes to pass, that a good angel would deliver us up....protect us and make sure we make that safe transition. I think there's something in each one of these prayers that is so beautiful and unique.
So I know that these prayers are typically recited during lent, but I think once you know them,you'll make them a part of your everyday life. That lenten period, years ago when I decided to make learning these prayers part of my lenten journey was an invalable gift.
I will include these prayers on my website at www.pomegranateandeye.com I hope that you'll check it out and make them your own.
Do you have another prayer or series of prayers that speak personally to you? Will you share them with me? Or which one of the 24 is your favorite? dont br shy. Please leave your comments. I'd love to hear from you!
Several years ago, during my lenten journey, I started focusing on the 24 prayers of St. Nerses Shnorhali. The Havodov Khosdovanemk or I confess with faith These 24 prayers are said in our church during our lenten Huskoom service. There is one prayer for each hour of the day, but during our evening service, we say them in succession. My grandmothers are my heroes. When the going has gotten tough for me, i often think about them and all they went through, and it gives me strength. Both of them were genocide survivors. And both were complete opposites of one another. But both were strong women of faith. My grandmothers knew these 24 prayers by heart. And I imagine that reciting these prayers gave them comfort in the darkest time in their lives. I decided, about 6 years ago, to memorize these prayers, but to memorize them in the language which I was most familiar with...English.
I had received a copy of these prayers from church and tucked them in my purse. Then on one busride, as I watched the woman across the aisle from me praying her rosary, I decided that I was going to learn my prayers as well. So I started with the first. "I confess with faith and adore you, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Uncreated and immortal essence, creator of angels, of humans and all that exists. Have mercy upon all your creatures and upon me a manifold sinner." That busride was when i decided to learn the first of the 24 prayers. I would read a sentence, close my eyes, think about the sentence, and try to repeat it in my head. I'd do something else and then come back to it, and try to remember what I had learned. I'd check myself against the paper in my hand. If I had the sentence right...I'd learn the second sentence...and then repeat it, but only after I had repeated the first sentence before it. Each bus ride I'd add another 2 or 3 sentences, always reinforcing what I had learned prior. Each week, I was learning about 2 prayers and finally, I had them all memorized. It took months, but it made my busride meaningful, and my prayer life was increasing. As I learned the prayers, I thought about them. Each one of them ended with "Have mercy upon all your creatures and upon me a manifold sinner." Okay, what was a manifold sinner? When I was in 12th grade, I took auto shop for a year and rebuilt the engine of my first car....but I that is a whole different Oprah...but in my head a manifold was an exhaust manifold. I didn't like that....so i searched other translations...and found one that substituted the word "great" Have mercy upon all your creatures and upon me a great sinner.
Then the word "creature" was kind of bugging me. I kept thinking of the creature from the black lagoon. But creature means "anything that is created". So I ended each prayer with, "have mercy upon all your creation and upon me a great sinner." And that was a better fit. It just made more sense to me.
So this became my busride prayer. I would start when I first borded the bus, and finish with the 24th prayer by the time we were on the freeway heading toward Eagle Rock, about ten miles away. And I started seeing how having a physical rosary to hold might help to keep track of which prayer I was on if I got distracted (which is easy to do on the bus). So made myself a rosary. I used a piece of leather cord, and adding a cross to the center, I added 12, equidistant knots in the leather on each side making a knot for each prayer. That's it. It's very simple and unpretentious. I also made one with some coral beads that I had...and I keep that one in my car. I use those sometimes when I'm driving.
These prayers have brought me a lot of comfort. They are in my mind when I walk around downtown L.A.; if I'm feeling troubled; if I'm stuck in traffic; when I'm having trouble falling asleep and I can't clear my mind, or when I'm feeling overwhelmed with too much to do.
Sometimes I will choose one to reflect on. Othertimes, it's a way for me push myself to thinking. I'll start with the last one first and go backward in order. Since each of the prayers are individual, each is a complete prayer by itself. Prayers 3-24 have a different name for Christ starting each prayer. Sometimes I"ll only pray the names: Heavenly Father, Son of God, Spirit of God, Uncreated Essence, Beholder of all, Searcher of Secrets, All provident Lord, Living fire, Jesus wisdom of the father, Lord, Heavenly King, Bestower of Mercy . Benificent Lord, and so on.
And I definitely have my favorites. I think most of us have recited the Bahaban Amenaynee or O Christ Guardian of all. And if you're active in Armenian Orthodcox church life, you know the O Jesus, Wisdom of the father, prayer because that's usually the prayer said before meetings when we ask God to grant us wisdom that we may think, speak, and do that who's is good in His sight. I think the most amazing of these prayers is the 22nd, which asks God to, "Forgive all my enemies, and those who hate me, the trespasses they have committed against me. Turn them from the malice they bear toward me that they may be worth of your mercy." Mind blowingly cool, right? Think about it. Not only am I asking forgiveness for my enemies and those that hate me, but I'm asking for forgiveness for them, why? So that they can know God's mercy. Ultimate forgiveness. Not forgiving for my sake, but so they can share in the beautiful gift of God's mercy. Repaying your enemy with something so beautiful and precious that you want to share with even someone who has done you wrong.
Another favorite of mine is this one "Beneficient Lord, commit me to a good angel that I may deliver up my spirit in peace and convey it undisturbed by the malice of evil spirtis under the heavens." I just think that's so beautiful....when the time comes to pass, that a good angel would deliver us up....protect us and make sure we make that safe transition. I think there's something in each one of these prayers that is so beautiful and unique.
So I know that these prayers are typically recited during lent, but I think once you know them,you'll make them a part of your everyday life. That lenten period, years ago when I decided to make learning these prayers part of my lenten journey was an invalable gift.
I will include these prayers on my website at www.pomegranateandeye.com I hope that you'll check it out and make them your own.
Do you have another prayer or series of prayers that speak personally to you? Will you share them with me? Or which one of the 24 is your favorite? dont br shy. Please leave your comments. I'd love to hear from you!
Well guess what? I am officially on vacation. I will try to blog of our travels as we head up the Oregon coast! Prayers for good weather please!!! Hope you all have a beautiful and blessed week.
Here's the link to the 24 prayers of St. Nerses Shorhali - The I Confess with Faith:
http://www.armenianorthodoxy.org/I_confess_with_Faith.pdf
And we're still taking donations for Team In Her Shoes, this time to help one of our team mates, Nancy, get to her goal. Please visit her page at www.avonwalk.org/goto/NancyBurgos
All the money we collect goes to the same great cause and supports our team. Thank you so much for all your prayers and wonderful support!!
Please "like" us on Facebook. And better yet, come out and cheer us on, on Sunday, September 8 as we cross the finish line at mile 39.3!!! Click here for Event Info! Come see us!!! http://www.avonwalk.org/santa-barbara/event-information.html
Here's the link to the 24 prayers of St. Nerses Shorhali - The I Confess with Faith:
http://www.armenianorthodoxy.org/I_confess_with_Faith.pdf
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| Here I am last year..this was around Mile 37!!! I could hear the crowds cheering at the finish line! |
And we're still taking donations for Team In Her Shoes, this time to help one of our team mates, Nancy, get to her goal. Please visit her page at www.avonwalk.org/goto/NancyBurgos
All the money we collect goes to the same great cause and supports our team. Thank you so much for all your prayers and wonderful support!!
Please "like" us on Facebook. And better yet, come out and cheer us on, on Sunday, September 8 as we cross the finish line at mile 39.3!!! Click here for Event Info! Come see us!!! http://www.avonwalk.org/santa-barbara/event-information.html
28 March 2013
Traditions: Easter Eggs and Choreg on Choregshapti
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| Onion skin dyed eggs are a beautiful warm brown. Old tradition: rub crosses on them. New tradition, use leaves to decorate. |
As
a little girl, Easter was always an exciting time. Usually on the Thursday evening, after going
to church for the Vodnaluvah/foot washing, we would come home to dye our
Easter eggs. We had all those cool
colors – the tablets that you drop in the warm water with a spoonful of vinegar, the little
copper metal scoopy thing that looked like a bent paperclip, the white crayon for writing people’s names. And every year, my little brother would always try
to make a half and half egg and accidentally drop his still wet dark green egg
into the beautiful yellow mixing the colors. That would get me so mad! By the end of the evening we had a mess on our table. But it was a lot of fun. We were blessed to have my grandmother live
right on the corner of our street. She
was over everyday, and she would bring over her carton of eggs, her special eggs, that she had dyed with onion skins.
They were all one color – a warm dark brick color with crosses rubbed on
them. This was the traditional Armenian way of coloring eggs. No gimmicks. Just basic.
Simple, natural dye using what our people had. They were survivors. Nothing went to waste. The skins of the onions were used to color
the eggs.
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| Still doing the traditional onion skin eggs but also trying other natural dyes like red cabbage (blue) and beets (khaki) |
You all know about my empty nest. Last October, my daughter Ani got married, and this was my first year in 25 years that I have dyed eggs without her. Oh, she was still there…we were tweeting and texting back and forth through the process. We've always enjoyed dying eggs together. And we started a spin on the tradition a few years back…still dying with the onion skins but pressing leaves on the surface of the eggs to create designs or experimenting with other natural dyes too. My husband came into the kitchen to ask if I needed help. I didn’t have to answer. He picked up an egg and worked beside me wrapping the leaves for the dye. And as we worked, I started thinking about traditions and blessings and the past and the future.
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| Mamajan & Ani Baking Choregs on Choregshapti |
Wednesday, they got to work and created tray after tray of choreg. Baking Choreg on Choregshapti. Ani's are just like Mamajan's...and my niece's choregs were like my wonky shapes from when I was their age.
As
a parent, I am so blessed to see this full circle. Young and old…the past and
present. Coming together. Traditions upheld, and new ones made. They bond us with our past, and create in us a sense of belonging, but they also help to bring familiarity to new experiences. And in a most beautiful way, they fill our hearts with the memories of dear ones whose presence is missed during these family holidays.
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| My beautiful choreg bakers: Clockwise: Madi, Ani, Mamajan and Nic |
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You can hear an audio version of this post read on today's podcast episode of "The Next Step with Father Vazken"
03 March 2013
March: What Happened to My One Little Word?
I also realized that I started focusing on the word Peace back in September of last year when during my morning prayer I received a message regarding peace, and I am acting on it (but I'll write a little more about my progress with that prayer in the near future...because I am actively working on it but I don't want to come off as being preachy.) Click here if you'd like to read that blog post: Pray for Peace. Believe Peace. Live Peace.
So I'm working on the negative. And I'm trying to find my own inner peace. That comes through prayer, conscious effort and acceptance. Accepting the fact that I'm not perfect and that it's okay to ask for help when I need it. It also comes from being okay with where you are in life at the moment - not looking to keep up with everyone else; not being concerned about possessions, and "Living Simply so that others can Simply Live."
So there you have it! My new 2013 - One Little Word is "PEACE!" I think it's a better fit for me, and something that I am truly passionate about.
28 February 2013
A Loving Divorce
Going through a divorce is not easy. I know because I have been there. There are a lot of emotions, hurt, anger and pain. And so how is it possible to have a loving divorce? Weird question, right? First of all, I'll tell you, it's not easy. But it can be done. The key is prayer and forgiveness. Prayer has always been important to me. It took prayer to guide me to make my decisions. It took prayer to help me heal. And it took a lot of prayer to forgive.
As I talked to my friend, the analogy of a wound came to mind. In the beginning, the wound is fresh and painful. If you keep it clean, nurture it, and take care of it, it will slowly heal. Eventually, it will heal over and all that will be left is a small scar...to help you remember the good parts and learn from the past. If you treat the wound with bitterness, anger and hatred, it will keep opening and festering. A constant reminder of the bad hand you were dealt and the pain that you're going through - over and over again.
Forgiving one's self is the hardest of all. Growing up in a family where divorce was not in the vocabulary made it especially difficult. So forgiving myself for a failing marriage was the hardest, especially when I thought about my children, division of the family, and all that bad stuff. I am fortunate in that my ex-husband understood that we would forever be in each other's lives because of the children we have together. We tried hard to never speak badly about one another in front of the children or otherwise. We never allowed our kids to feel that they had to choose sides. We worked hard to be there together for their birthdays and family events. It was a lot of work, quite often very awkward, but in all things we thought first of our children. And as they grew older, we had less parenting to do together, and so our differences became less and less prevalent. Eventually, time healed the wounds and both of us moved on and remarried.
Our children have now grown into adults. My son was telling me the other day that he has so many friends who have divorced parents that can't stand to be in the same room with one another. I am blessed that things worked out as they did, but it's not random chance. Like I said, it takes a lot of work, an open heart and an ability to forgive. And it takes faith and prayer. None of us are perfect. Once I came to terms with this key fact, it became easier to forgive and move on. When we pray the Lord's prayer, we ask, "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." In other words, forgive us the way that we forgive others. I try very hard in all things not to judge someone. I leave that up to God. When it's time, He will be the one to judge. My job at this time, is to spread His love and light to others. This is my daily prayer.
This past October, we had the honor of sharing a very blessed moment together. My ex-husband and I walked our daughter down the aisle together as she approached the altar to marry her best friend and the love of her life. When we kissed her and gave her over to her handsome groom, we took our place in the pew as her loving parents - next to our respective spouses. Love is forever. Sometimes it changes shape and reinvents itself. Old wounds heal, and all that remains is a small scar to remember the good times, to learn from the difficult times, and to revel in the beauty of a life well-loved.
21 February 2013
Controlling My Inner Martha
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| Painting by Dr. He Qi www.heqigallery.com |
We did talk about the obvious answer...that Christ wants us to listen to Him, to spend time with Him. The rest of the hoopla is not important. But we arrived home, and then there was lunch to fix, so the discussion got cut short. But I have been thinking about this for two days now and came to the conclusion that there were two issues at hand.
The first is "Priorities". It's not so much that Mary was spending time with Christ - that's a given. But it's more about the fact that Mary put Christ first above everything else. Mary understood that once Jesus came to their home, she would put aside everything else and make Christ her priority because nothing else could be as important as being "present" in Christ.. I mean, when would she ever have that opportunity again? And because of that, would she want to sit and absorb everything she could about Him? or would she want to be dishing up pilav in the kitchen? On the other hand, that part is important too. It's just not AS important. So I was thinking of these priorities during my morning prayer. I like to pray first thing in the morning, at about 5:00 a.m. I love this special time alone in the morning, and my intention is good - to set aside quality time with God - BUT my life is hectic. Inevitably during my prayer time, as I'm trying to purge my mind and focus on prayer, the Martha in me makes an appearance and allows my day-to-day to creep in. Then Mary corrals my thoughts back to prayer. Then Martha reminds me of all I have to do, then Mary takes the reins, well, you get the idea. I'm going to have to work on that. Focus and prioritization!
And then the second fault of Martha was that she allowed what started off as her JOY - to offer her hospitality to Christ - to become a negative. Her goal was to do something wonderful to show her love for Jesus. But she allowed anger, resentment, and jealousy toward her sister to creep in. She was probably feeling like she wanted Jesus' praise for all the trouble she was going through for Him. Instead Mary was the shining star of the day. I can totally understand how she felt. And the Bible doesn't mention how Martha's comments probably hurt Mary and caused her embarrassment . Negativity breeds negativity. Sometimes, it's the very thing that we're most passionate about that can frustrate us the most. Only because we have a vision of how we want things to be. And there's a healthy dose of pride - okay, an unhealthy dose - attached as well as we embark on the path to making things "just so." But we are not perfect. It's better to let things go that we are not in control of. We can't control what someone else does. We can't control the Mary. Mary is just fine the way she is. All we can do, is control the Martha. Try our best to do our best, but in all things to act out of extreme love.
During this Lenten season, I'm going to try to control my inner Martha, and set my priorities on living a Christ-centered life more like Mary. With only four weeks to go, I have my work cut out for me.
26 January 2013
Manipulated Coffee Art
It all started about a week or so ago. I was at work typing up a quote, and I grabbed my coffee cup for a sip of coffee....but the cup was empty. Looking in the bottom, there was just a drop. And the imagination got the better of me and before I knew it....well, it's become an almost daily ritual.
Manipulated coffee art. What do you see in the bottom of the cup?
Manipulated coffee art. What do you see in the bottom of the cup?
Patience, Perseverance and Faith
There is so much that went on. So much that I'd like to share, but it's so wrapped in emotion. I did a lot of soul searching this weekend. I was able to define my own personal "ah-ha" moments as we shared stories and tried to relate our lives to Dr. King's teaching based on Christ's principles of love and non-violent resistance.
I think what I personally focused on was our ability to effect change when we lead a Christ-centered/love-centered life. I thought about the Montgomery bus boycott and how effective it was in bringing about the civil rights movement. I have known the facts for years, but what never occurred to me was that this change, this boycott, lasted over a year before a result was achieved. Unlike the union strikes of today, an agreement was not reached in a week's or a month's time. Over a year. Why was this important to me? Because it involved patience (not my strong suit), and it involved persistence, and faith. It was a huge sacrifice for the protesters to be without transportation. Given that most did not own their own cars, giving up riding a bus and having to arrange your own ride was not easy. Yet they persevered, because sitting back was no longer an option. And they achieved their goal of equality while riding on the bus. And then the greater goal of equal rights was inevitable.
I have a lot of goals in my life as well. And all too often, they seem unattainable. I've been trying to make a go of my jewelry business, but it's difficult with a full time day job...and then family obligations. BUT it's not unattainable. It's going to take time, persistence, patience and faith. So I took this lesson away with me from the weekend. Keep dreaming! Keep praying! Keep believing!
We were also asked to choose one of Dr. King's quotes and share why it spoke to us. If you read my blog a few weeks back ("The Jumper"), I wrote about a person who was contemplating suicide by jumping off a freeway bridge. Our building overlooked the scene and I was taken aback when some of my coworkers were going and coming out of the corner office laughing, making fun and just waiting for the poor man to jump. As disgusted and saddened as I was by their actions, I was more disgusted by my inaction. So you can see why this quote struck a chord with me: "He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it." I still don't know why I remained silent that afternoon, but the following day I did speak out about my disappointment. This quote helped me to focus on the fact that I do need to stand up, even when I'm standing alone.
Finally, on Monday morning, before leaving to come home, we were able to watch President Obama's inauguration ceremony. I don't remember ever being so moved during this ceremony as I was this time around. I think it was because of the emotions of the weekend. And the president's inauguration was the perfect ending to it. We sat in front of the laptop watching. Tears streaming down some of our faces. I thought of how young our country was and how much there was to learn. But I was hopeful because of how far we had come since Dr. King's time. But there was still so far to go. There was still racial tension and hatred. We prayed along with the prayers that were recited, and I was renewed with hope when they prayed in Christ's name. Obama's speech was moving, hopeful and inspirational. It was filled with love and hopefulness, and embracing diversity. And the poem that was read by Bronco was the tip of the iceberg for me. It was filled with imagery of our country. Of all walks of life, or our day, of unity. I posted it here on my blog if you missed it.
So we packed it up, and headed down the hill, forever changed. I'm hopeful for America. And I am hopeful for peace and for change. But if we want change, we need to work toward it. And not lose faith in our dreams. It's going to take patience, inconvenience, perseverance, and faith. It's going to take action, and prayer, and a God-centered life. But it is achievable if we truly want it.
Click HERE to hear this blog entry read by the author in an audio file on Next Step #242
Want to learn more about Dr. King? See these links below.
17 January 2013
Creating the Next Generation of Social Activists
Do you remember the 70's? That's when I was a teen. Kent State, the end of the VietNam War, great music, and all those protests and rallies and marches. I grew up during a time when it was the accepted norm to take part in social protest. We protested with Greenpeace wearing "No Nukes" buttons and holding signs at Diablo Canyon. We Saved the Whales and stopped the clubbing of baby seals. We protested the war. I don't know if it was like that where you were growing up, but as part of the young generation, that's what was expected of us, and we wouldn't want it any other way. We grew up with social conscience.
I don't recall a lot of that in the 80's and 90's, but maybe it was just a different time in my life. But what I do know is that I have heard, over the course of the past decade about Generation X, and the "me" generation, and about the general apathy of our youth. But I'm not buying it. I think it's more about opportunity.
Our monthly homeless outreach took place this Monday evening. We had with us three twenty-somethings who put their heart and soul into our outreach - collecting clothing all month, baking treats for the homeless, and offering a helping hand and an open heart to our friends on the street. I was really impressed with this group who so willingly offered their caring and compassion to our outreach. After church this past Sunday, I spoke to a 13 year old young man who wanted to know how to run a homeless outreach. He was from the Santa Cruz area and interested in helping. His mother offered that though he was too young to go out on the street, he was looking into helping at the shelter where he could serve and eat at the same table with the homeless of their community. These are just a couple examples that touched me in my life, but I know there are many other examples if we open our eyes and hearts to them.
I was discussing all of this with my daughter Ani. I asked her opinion about organized protests, wondering if they were happening, and it was me that wasn't aware of them. She brought up a very good point. Back then in the 70's, there was no internet. My friends and I banded together for a common cause - for peace, for the environment, whatever the cause - solidarity was the social media of OUR day. Back then, if you wanted to write the President a letter, you would have to sit down, get out a pen and paper and write that letter, put the letter in an envelope. Hopefully you had a stamp to put on it, then you'd drop it in the mail box and mail it off...and then wait for a response a month or so down the road. Today, everything is instantaneous. It's not that the protest is not there...it is, and LOT of good is done through it. But it's done individually, with your computer or your smart phone and all your Facebook friends united on the same "cause" page. Today at the touch of a screen, you can address the President and receive a confirmation that your letter reached the White House all within the same minute.
Back then, the news would give time to stories about non-violent protest and world issues. Today, our news media would much rather cover the fact that Kim Kardashian is pregnant than show in-depth coverage of the violence going on in Syria or Darfur. If there is coverage, it's just for a quick minute, while we then sit through lengthy sports reports. We're desensitized to the human suffering that is going on around the world and in our own communities until something terribly tragic happens like the shootings in Newtown, and then suddenly we are focused on it for a quick week or two until the media decides how next to grab our attention. In the meantime, there are wars going on, rights being violated, children dying of hunger, and record numbers of homeless on the streets.
Time is also a factor. Who has an entire morning or afternoon to stand on a corner holding up a sign for peace? We tend to overbook our lives with things to get ourselves/our children ahead, but are we giving up getting ahead as a society in exchange? I think there is something very powerful in getting together as a group - with people that share common views/beliefs to get to a specific goal. It's the feeling of unity. Of hope. Of working together for the greater good. Isn't this also true of our Sunday worship? We are united in Christ, together as a family, working together to be the hands and arms of Christ toward others.
We can promote social activism for our children by creating opportunities for it. My daughter never really had a choice. We were going to fast for hunger because that's what we were doing. As parents, I think we sometimes offer too many choices to our children. Scouts or church? Visiting grandma and grandpa or hanging out at the mall with your friends? It has to do with priorities. And also a belief that our actions - however small they may be - can bring about great change. But it begins at home with compassion and caring. Our children have to see from us that we all belong to a community, and that when one suffers; all suffer. When we can embrace the fact that we all belong to one another, and we can act on this with loving hearts, there will always be hope for the future.
12 December 2012
The Jumper
I kept hearing laughter, loud talking, joking coming from my boss' office. It was late afternoon. I had just said goodbye to my boss. So what was going on in her office? I kept working. I had an hour left til the end of the work day and too much to get done, so I didn't get up to go check. But the noise went on, for a good 45 minutes. And slowly -- as I subconsciously tuned into the conversations - I realized what was going on.
The reason for this gathering? It wasn't a party. But it was a "disconnect". They were gathered there for a better look at the jumper. Because we're on the 19th floor, we have a view of the city and the freeway below. In the nine years I've worked in downtown L.A., I've seen several like him climb over the bridge railing and think about ending it all. People kept coming and going into the office. And I heard "is he still there?", "anything yet?", "wish he'd jump already." There were jokes made, someone suggesting "music to jump by." More laughter.
I am so hurt and saddened by this display of insensitivity by my coworkers. As I sat at my desk trying to focus on my work, I couldn't. I thought about the crucifixion, and how the people taunted Christ when He was on the cross. I thought about how alone He must have felt and how alone the jumper must be feeling on the bridge. From the corner office I could hear them calling him a "loser", an "idiot", a "nut".
We hear so much about bullying in schools. What about bullying in life? That's what was going on. Sure, the victim wasn't right there, but it was that same taunting, and the banding together of those that were doing it....with a common goal. To mock someone less fortunate. What would have happened if instead they showed caring and concern for this poor man in his time of need. What would have happened if they came to his aid and helped him off the bridge? But it was probably that very mocking that brought the jumper to this point in his life. Maybe by others, maybe by his own inner self.
As disappointed as I was though, my deepest disappointment was in myself. I didn't participate in that corner office gathering, but I am no better. By choosing not to say anything, I allowed it to go on. I thought about what I could have done. I wouldn't have been able to go down to the street level and deal with the jumper, but I could have gone into the office and expressed how I was feeling and maybe that would have made some of them think about their comments and actions. So why didn't I? Did it have to do with fitting in? A little. But it was more that I felt it just wouldn't make a difference to them..or to the jumper. But the truth is that it did make a difference. And because I did nothing, it made a difference to me. Try as I might to work, I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Eventually, the police got to the jumper and convinced him to step off the bridge. Thank God. The show was over, and everyone went back to work.
That night, I said a prayer for the jumpers of the world -- those that are lonely, the taunted, the bullied. I prayed that God show His love to them through us. I prayed for the bullies...that God open their hearts and fill them with compassion and love toward others. And I prayed for the silent - that God would open our mouths to help us to speak out for injustice. And give us courage to do what was right.
This morning, at my desk, I received an email from my boss. It was a mass mailing to the entire office. A photo from the previous afternoon accompanied the email - "Here's a view from my office, " it said. "What's new with you?" and a happy face.
This time I did speak up. I wrote her an email response, and told her how sad the whole thing made me...what had gone on in her office...and how this man on the bridge was someone's child..someone's son. I told her how disappointed I was in myself for not speaking out. And I continued, "...and so I needed to write this in response to your email...because staying silent didn't sit well with me."
I received a response: "thanks for the reminder that I need to be more sensitive. I know that was not your intention, but I need to work on that for myself."
I need to work on that for mysef too.
The reason for this gathering? It wasn't a party. But it was a "disconnect". They were gathered there for a better look at the jumper. Because we're on the 19th floor, we have a view of the city and the freeway below. In the nine years I've worked in downtown L.A., I've seen several like him climb over the bridge railing and think about ending it all. People kept coming and going into the office. And I heard "is he still there?", "anything yet?", "wish he'd jump already." There were jokes made, someone suggesting "music to jump by." More laughter.
I am so hurt and saddened by this display of insensitivity by my coworkers. As I sat at my desk trying to focus on my work, I couldn't. I thought about the crucifixion, and how the people taunted Christ when He was on the cross. I thought about how alone He must have felt and how alone the jumper must be feeling on the bridge. From the corner office I could hear them calling him a "loser", an "idiot", a "nut".
We hear so much about bullying in schools. What about bullying in life? That's what was going on. Sure, the victim wasn't right there, but it was that same taunting, and the banding together of those that were doing it....with a common goal. To mock someone less fortunate. What would have happened if instead they showed caring and concern for this poor man in his time of need. What would have happened if they came to his aid and helped him off the bridge? But it was probably that very mocking that brought the jumper to this point in his life. Maybe by others, maybe by his own inner self.
As disappointed as I was though, my deepest disappointment was in myself. I didn't participate in that corner office gathering, but I am no better. By choosing not to say anything, I allowed it to go on. I thought about what I could have done. I wouldn't have been able to go down to the street level and deal with the jumper, but I could have gone into the office and expressed how I was feeling and maybe that would have made some of them think about their comments and actions. So why didn't I? Did it have to do with fitting in? A little. But it was more that I felt it just wouldn't make a difference to them..or to the jumper. But the truth is that it did make a difference. And because I did nothing, it made a difference to me. Try as I might to work, I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Eventually, the police got to the jumper and convinced him to step off the bridge. Thank God. The show was over, and everyone went back to work.
That night, I said a prayer for the jumpers of the world -- those that are lonely, the taunted, the bullied. I prayed that God show His love to them through us. I prayed for the bullies...that God open their hearts and fill them with compassion and love toward others. And I prayed for the silent - that God would open our mouths to help us to speak out for injustice. And give us courage to do what was right.
This time I did speak up. I wrote her an email response, and told her how sad the whole thing made me...what had gone on in her office...and how this man on the bridge was someone's child..someone's son. I told her how disappointed I was in myself for not speaking out. And I continued, "...and so I needed to write this in response to your email...because staying silent didn't sit well with me."
I received a response: "thanks for the reminder that I need to be more sensitive. I know that was not your intention, but I need to work on that for myself."
I need to work on that for mysef too.
29 November 2012
The Nest: Half Empty or Half Full?
This past year has flown by. I honestly don't know what happened to it, but here we are almost to the end of the year and it's a time for reflection. This year was a milestone year in our family. Our daughter got married. Of course I'm thrilled. But I have to say that no one ever trains us moms for the "empty nest". Sure, everyone talks asks, "how're you doing with the empty nest?", or you hear about empty nesters, but until you've gone through it, you don't know what it's about.
My daughter and I are very close. I was a single mom for many years, so it compounded that closeness. We have gone through everything together. School, cancer, mother/daughter camping trips, you name it. So as her wedding day approached, I know we both started anticipating the big changes that were going to be coming up. It says in the Bible - regarding marriage --that a man shall leave his mother; and a woman shall leave her home. We all know this, right? In prep for "leaving home", the week before her wedding, I took off from work. I wouldn't trade that week for anything. It was our time together. We moved her things to her new home (all except the essentials til the wedding day), we got her unpacked and situated, set up her kitchen, and spent mom/daughter time together. And one of the days we just had a good old cry! We knew the wedding was just days away. We knew she was marrying her true love, we knew it was the right thing, at the right time, but all of a sudden, we were hysterical. And it wasn't panic, or nerves about the wedding. It was just about change. About life. About growing up. But that cry did us both a lot of good, and it seemed that it was what we needed. Yes, things would be different. But the love between us would be the same. We wouldn't be living together, but hey, there was always unlimited texting. : )
So the wedding day came, and it was like a dream. She was beautiful in her wedding gown, and my son in law was dashing in his tuxe. The wedding ceremony was beautiful, and meaningful, and blessed; the reception was fun. Everything went off without a hitch, and off they went on their honeymoon. And then we get to the empty nest. I tried very hard to back off a bit. I wanted her to adjust to her new life. And have fun on her honeymoon so I was good. I didn't call or text. The hardest thing was not hearing from her daily. I'd wonder where they were, what they were doing. And then they came home from the honeymoon, and it was even harder. At least while they were away, she had reason why we couldn't see each other. But back in town ....I know, I know, it sounds silly. But you have your child with you for 25 years, and then in one day, she's out of the house, all grown up, and a wife!
Those three weeks after the wedding were the hardest. The nest was empty. And then Sunday came and she said they were coming to church and then coming over afterward. At church that Sunday, my daughter and son in law received and distributed the Kiss of Peace. Der Hayr announced them as the newest family of our church. And I felt so happy to see them there, together, participating, worshipping. After church they came over for lunch. And I saw how happy they were together. Not cheesy happy, but just "at ease" and natural happy. And I realized something: That my daughter is right where she is supposed to be. It was her time to get married. And God blessed her with a wonderful husband who loves and cares for her. And the nest is not really half empty, but half full!
Today is Thanksgiving. We just came home from my daughter and son-in-law's home. It was their first Thanksgiving, and they invited us over. It was a blessed day. There they were, working together to make the meal..making new traditions. My daughter is a nurse and works nights. She had just come home in the morning to start cooking. He had made the turkey and gravy, and they were working together to make everything perfect. The table was set, the Thanksgiving prayer was said. I looked around and saw my grown up daughter (who will always be my baby) and her husband, and then I saw the bigger picture as well. There I was, surrounded by family...our new inlaws (my khunamies), and the grandmas, my son, my husband. Family.
Our family had grown and was full and alive. I am truly blessed. I will always be a mom. The bond that I share with my daughter will always be. And now I get to share with my new son. I am thankful for my beautiful family, the love that we share, and my nest, which is not only "half full", but truly full, and over flowing with love!
My daughter and I are very close. I was a single mom for many years, so it compounded that closeness. We have gone through everything together. School, cancer, mother/daughter camping trips, you name it. So as her wedding day approached, I know we both started anticipating the big changes that were going to be coming up. It says in the Bible - regarding marriage --that a man shall leave his mother; and a woman shall leave her home. We all know this, right? In prep for "leaving home", the week before her wedding, I took off from work. I wouldn't trade that week for anything. It was our time together. We moved her things to her new home (all except the essentials til the wedding day), we got her unpacked and situated, set up her kitchen, and spent mom/daughter time together. And one of the days we just had a good old cry! We knew the wedding was just days away. We knew she was marrying her true love, we knew it was the right thing, at the right time, but all of a sudden, we were hysterical. And it wasn't panic, or nerves about the wedding. It was just about change. About life. About growing up. But that cry did us both a lot of good, and it seemed that it was what we needed. Yes, things would be different. But the love between us would be the same. We wouldn't be living together, but hey, there was always unlimited texting. : )
So the wedding day came, and it was like a dream. She was beautiful in her wedding gown, and my son in law was dashing in his tuxe. The wedding ceremony was beautiful, and meaningful, and blessed; the reception was fun. Everything went off without a hitch, and off they went on their honeymoon. And then we get to the empty nest. I tried very hard to back off a bit. I wanted her to adjust to her new life. And have fun on her honeymoon so I was good. I didn't call or text. The hardest thing was not hearing from her daily. I'd wonder where they were, what they were doing. And then they came home from the honeymoon, and it was even harder. At least while they were away, she had reason why we couldn't see each other. But back in town ....I know, I know, it sounds silly. But you have your child with you for 25 years, and then in one day, she's out of the house, all grown up, and a wife!
Those three weeks after the wedding were the hardest. The nest was empty. And then Sunday came and she said they were coming to church and then coming over afterward. At church that Sunday, my daughter and son in law received and distributed the Kiss of Peace. Der Hayr announced them as the newest family of our church. And I felt so happy to see them there, together, participating, worshipping. After church they came over for lunch. And I saw how happy they were together. Not cheesy happy, but just "at ease" and natural happy. And I realized something: That my daughter is right where she is supposed to be. It was her time to get married. And God blessed her with a wonderful husband who loves and cares for her. And the nest is not really half empty, but half full!
Today is Thanksgiving. We just came home from my daughter and son-in-law's home. It was their first Thanksgiving, and they invited us over. It was a blessed day. There they were, working together to make the meal..making new traditions. My daughter is a nurse and works nights. She had just come home in the morning to start cooking. He had made the turkey and gravy, and they were working together to make everything perfect. The table was set, the Thanksgiving prayer was said. I looked around and saw my grown up daughter (who will always be my baby) and her husband, and then I saw the bigger picture as well. There I was, surrounded by family...our new inlaws (my khunamies), and the grandmas, my son, my husband. Family.
Our family had grown and was full and alive. I am truly blessed. I will always be a mom. The bond that I share with my daughter will always be. And now I get to share with my new son. I am thankful for my beautiful family, the love that we share, and my nest, which is not only "half full", but truly full, and over flowing with love!
22 February 2012
I'm Back!
Where is time going?? I just logged on here and found that I hadn't posted a blog since December 11!!! Insane! So much is going on around me, but time doesn't stand still enough for me to organize my thoughts and write. I have to make time. So today is Wednesday, Feb. 22, and I'm at the office on my lunch break, with my salad, my water, and my Django Rinehardt playing and two-plus months worth of catching up to do.
My health is good, thank God. The worst part of surgery/reconstruction (post-mastectomy) is over, and I have a little bit of cosmetic stuff to go through in a couple months, but all in all, I am well. Well enough to train for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer this coming September. Wait, not only train, but lead a team of amazing women and men (20 in total) as Team In Her Shoes. It's been fun. We've been doing weekly training walks, fundraising, and raising awareness for breast cancer. We each have to raise $1,800 to participate...and with 20 walkers, that makes our goal $36,000. So we've started early and we're 23% of the way there. info.avonfoundation.org/goto/inhershoes So here's a shameless plug: If you'd like to donate, here's the website! We're walking to put an end to all cancers and will walk in memory, honor or celebration of your loved one, so send me their name and I will carry them on our 39 mile journey!
My daughter Ani and her fiance Eric set their wedding date, so that's very exciting. They'll be getting married in the Fall, and it'll be here before you know it. So there's exciting times ahead. She's actually started a blog about the whole experience called Bacheegs & Love. I linked in if you're interested to click and read. Last month we got to go to Ani's residency graduation. She's now a full blown pediatric nurse and on her own at Children's Hospital.
The illustration job is COMPLETE as of last night at 12:45 a.m.!!! Yep, I scanned the last two drawings to the East Coast this morning, and now we're in the process of sending all 15 panels over for publication. It was part of my Lenten Journey to get these done and over with already!!! And here we are on day 3 of lent and I'm done (all except for a little sliver of cloth on the priest's waist band. Really!)
I think the one thing that has really been suffering is my jewelry business. I have been so busy that I haven't had a chance to work in silver or beads at all and given that this year's goal is to "Build my Business" I really need to get off the stick and push, push, push.
I did some writing on Hub Pages over Christmas. Recipes and whatnot. If you're interested, check it out. http://www.hubpages.com/ and you can search for me as "ahnoosh". Looks of canning and cooking recipes and the recipe for my grandma's yalanchi sarma.
Anyways, that's about all the time I have today. I just wanted to check in. I'm going to try to write more regularly. And I have a lot of ideas.
Here's today's question: Lent is here. What is your lenten journey about?
My health is good, thank God. The worst part of surgery/reconstruction (post-mastectomy) is over, and I have a little bit of cosmetic stuff to go through in a couple months, but all in all, I am well. Well enough to train for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer this coming September. Wait, not only train, but lead a team of amazing women and men (20 in total) as Team In Her Shoes. It's been fun. We've been doing weekly training walks, fundraising, and raising awareness for breast cancer. We each have to raise $1,800 to participate...and with 20 walkers, that makes our goal $36,000. So we've started early and we're 23% of the way there. info.avonfoundation.org/goto/inhershoes So here's a shameless plug: If you'd like to donate, here's the website! We're walking to put an end to all cancers and will walk in memory, honor or celebration of your loved one, so send me their name and I will carry them on our 39 mile journey!
My daughter Ani and her fiance Eric set their wedding date, so that's very exciting. They'll be getting married in the Fall, and it'll be here before you know it. So there's exciting times ahead. She's actually started a blog about the whole experience called Bacheegs & Love. I linked in if you're interested to click and read. Last month we got to go to Ani's residency graduation. She's now a full blown pediatric nurse and on her own at Children's Hospital.
The illustration job is COMPLETE as of last night at 12:45 a.m.!!! Yep, I scanned the last two drawings to the East Coast this morning, and now we're in the process of sending all 15 panels over for publication. It was part of my Lenten Journey to get these done and over with already!!! And here we are on day 3 of lent and I'm done (all except for a little sliver of cloth on the priest's waist band. Really!)
I think the one thing that has really been suffering is my jewelry business. I have been so busy that I haven't had a chance to work in silver or beads at all and given that this year's goal is to "Build my Business" I really need to get off the stick and push, push, push.
I did some writing on Hub Pages over Christmas. Recipes and whatnot. If you're interested, check it out. http://www.hubpages.com/ and you can search for me as "ahnoosh". Looks of canning and cooking recipes and the recipe for my grandma's yalanchi sarma.
Anyways, that's about all the time I have today. I just wanted to check in. I'm going to try to write more regularly. And I have a lot of ideas.
Here's today's question: Lent is here. What is your lenten journey about?
04 November 2011
Rain, Drain and BlogWorld Again!
It's November 4, just 3 days after surgery. Today was the BlogWorld Expo at the L.A. Convention Center, and DV, Suzie and I had planned on going prior to my surgery. It rained today and my brother didn't want me driving so soon after surgery, so he decided to come pick me up at the house and we'd go together. I'm doing well...for being only three days post op, there's been very little drainage and after a call to the surgeon's office it was decided that I could have my drain taken out today. This is a wonderful thing. The drain leaves my body right under my right arm pit....with tubing that continues to a Jackson Pratt drain that hangs from a clip attached to my waistband. Not only is it ugly, but it's very painful. So the idea that I can have this removed today is wonderful.
So first things first, the three of us checked in at the BlogWorld Expo. It's so much fun. We went around to all the booths learning about blogging, marketing, monetizing, promoting, and picking up great swag from tshirts, and back scratchers, to insulated cups...you name it. Belesh! "The Next Step with Fr. Vazken" Podcast was nominated for a People's Choice award for best religious podcast. As Suzie is the producer of the show and DV is the host, we were anxious to find out if they had won, but found out that the winners will be announced tomorrow (not today). Here they are relaxing at the SouthWest Airlines both at the convention center:
Blogger also had a cool photo booth where we took our individual photos. Here's mine:
After several hours of the show though, I have to admit that I was exhausted. My arms and shoulders were aching, and I was just pooped. We decided to drive out to Encino, closer to my surgeon's office and find a place to have lunch rather than staying around L.A. and risking the traffic. It was raining, and things were getting messy.
We had lunch together and then made it to the doctor on time. After a definite okay from the nurse, they removed my drain! I also have permission to shower now, rather than taking a sponge bath. More great news.
I am still bandaged but healing okay. I'm still pretty bruised up from the whole IV line fiasco. I'm posting a couple pics so you get the idea. So I went to the doctor today, and the nurse removed my drain! Afterward, the doctor checked in on me. I showed him my bruised hands and arm and thanked him for not letting the anesthesiologist tap into my neck vein. He said, "Well, at least you have a sense of humor about it...I just didn't see why we couldn't use your bad arm for the couple hours we'd be in surgery." Okay by me!
I have a follow up appointment on November 9 -- next Wednesday, when hopefully, I'll get my stitches removed. Til then, just taking it a day at a time.
Blogger also had a cool photo booth where we took our individual photos. Here's mine:
After several hours of the show though, I have to admit that I was exhausted. My arms and shoulders were aching, and I was just pooped. We decided to drive out to Encino, closer to my surgeon's office and find a place to have lunch rather than staying around L.A. and risking the traffic. It was raining, and things were getting messy.
We had lunch together and then made it to the doctor on time. After a definite okay from the nurse, they removed my drain! I also have permission to shower now, rather than taking a sponge bath. More great news.
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| Hand bruised from three tries to get the IV line started |
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| Forearm is bruised as well.... another two tries there. Imagine, he wanted to then try my neck! |
I have a follow up appointment on November 9 -- next Wednesday, when hopefully, I'll get my stitches removed. Til then, just taking it a day at a time.
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