About Sharing...

I've been  off work for two weeks now.  Being that I'm not a big TV watcher, this gives me a lot of time to think.  I've been thinking a lot lately about cancer, illness, the beauty of prayer and friendship, blogging, going public, and sharing.  It was really a big decision for me to "go public" with my breast cancer, putting it up here on the blog page.  But I'm really glad that I did it.  It's really been helping me to write down my emotions, thoughts, even just my day to day here on these pages and sharing them. 

I'm usually a pretty private person.  I share, but I share with those that I am super close with:  my family and perhaps one or two close friends.  In the beginning I didn't want to share with everyone, because I was afraid of negativity, suggestions, and the worst part - having to discuss the same thing over and over with various people.  But the reaction I've gotten to going public has been so opposite what I thought:   have gotten only positive feedback.  I've have received encouragement and prayers from readers, and because people are informed of the day-to-day online, my fear of having to repeat the gorey details over and over just hasn't come to fruitition.

Cancer is scary.  As much positivity as you may have, and as much faith as you may have, there is still the reality that you are not in control.  Having faith means that you don't let the fear control you; but it still doesn't mean that you have control of the illness.  And that's difficult....especially for someone who likes to be in control, like me. 

Sharing all this has been helping me.  Telling people has been good.  Sharing.  It's not just sharing on a happy level.  It's sharing on all levels:  sad, discouraged, frightened, joyful, hopeful.  I'm normally a pretty "up" person.  But I do have my days (as you all know).  Sharing lets everyone in on those days too...something that I wouldn't normally share, but something that is definitely part of me as well.  And this is good.  It's good for me to see that  I can share this part of me, and still have people around that encourage me and cheer me on. 

So I thank you all....for letting me share.  For your encouragement, your prayers, your comments (which I love).  Thank you for helping me through all this.  And for sharing my sharing with others.