14 May 2011

Setting Goals - Pushing Forward

When I first got diagnosed with breast cancer this time around, everything came to a screeching halt.  I had so many things going on in my life, and this was just the tip of the iceberg.  One more thing to deal with...but a scary thing to deal with.  I mean, it wasn't just not meeting a deadline...it was dealing with my own health/life.   One of the good things about all this (and yes there is a good side) is that cancer causes you to STOP and assess your life.  You really figure out what is truly important to you.  You look at every day as a blessing.  And you learn to weigh things out a little....keep track of your priorities. 

And there's all this uncertainty.  In fact, everything becomes uncertain and you lose the ability to be in control of things.  Yes, your biopsy came back positive for cancer, but then you have to wait for pathology results...when?  You don't know.  You're in limbo, waiting for someone else to give you the news.  Once you get the pathology report, then you have scheduling to deal with...more tests, surgery, hospital, labs, etc., and once again, you're not in control, but the scheduler, the insurance company, hospital, whomever is.

Because of this, I find myself setting mini goals, pushing myself to meet them.  I remember when my grandmother was alive, she would do this:  "God willing, I'll be alive when you graduate high school."  Graduation came and went.  "God willing, we'll make it to see your engagement..."  Weddings, luncheons, Mother's day, celebrations, Christmas, Easter, etc. 

This time around, I found myself setting the goal of my daughter's graduation.  On June 12 she'll be graduating nursing school.  She's speaking at her graduation, and I found myself telling each of my health care providers that we needed to do everything STAT because I had a graduation to go to and didn't have time for this!  Receptionists, surgeons, anethesiologist, nurses, coworkers, insurance customer service people...everyone knew that "this mom needs to be well and present at her daughter's graduation." And they heard me, and they made it happen!

Today is May 14.  Surgery was 12 days ago.  And it looks like I'm going to be able to make it to graduation after all.  (Hopefully, I'll be able to dress normally...still have incisions that don't make that possible.)  I'm looking at life so grateful right now.  I'm looking forward to being there, watching my baby reach this important milestone.   I thank God for my life, and for the technology that we have available today to detect cancers.  I am truly blessed.  I am a two-time breast cancer survivor, and a colon cancer survivor.

And once we get to the graduation goal...there's a new goal.  The breast cancer walk...and all the training/walking/fundraising.  One goal to the next.  One day to the next.  One minute to the next.  Every day, every minute, every second is a blessing and something to look forward to.  Life is a blessing.

1 comment:

Sonig said...

The cup is half full....Very inspirational blog!!