ITP #39: This week brought with it two opportunities to reach out to the homeless community. Hear about this month's homeless outreach and some of the challenges facing families in the shelter and how you can help. And then there's that Gratitude List Anush said she's share with you. Take a listen Inside the Pomegranate.
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Showing posts with label Ascencia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ascencia. Show all posts
17 November 2014
Homelessness, HomeWalk LA, and being Grateful
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| Our crew for this months' homeless outreach including Yn Susan, Me, Fr. Vazken, Meline (Harout's mom), Sonig and Kevork (Harout's aunt and uncle) and Ani T. |
We arrived at the shelter at 5:00 p.m. to prep for a 6:00 p.m. dinner. After unloading the car, we started cooking. There were mashed potatoes and stuffing to be made. Harout's mom and aunt and uncle were offering a prayer of Thanksgiving for their son and nephew's life, by preparing a Thanksgiving meal with all the trimmings for the shelter residents. Together we worked. We all had our jobs. I have never made such a huge pot of mashed potatoes...it was something like 28 cups of water, 14 cups of milk, 8 sticks of butter, and packet after packet of mashed potatoes! The turkeys were prepped ahead of time and kept warm in the oven. There was cranberry sauce and gravy to go with the potatoes and stuffing. Salad, pumpkin pie with whipped cream. As we worked happily in the kitchen, I noticed a little girl looking at us through the window. The kitchen at the shelter has a glass window where we can serve and pass the meals over. And this little girl was watching us. If she were a bit taller she would have been able to press her nose to the glass, but she was still a little too short. She answered with a nod when I asked if she was hungry.
The shelter is home to families...and this month we had a record number of children. The little
girl looked familiar. I normally remember the kids from month to month and I like to surprise them by remembering their names. But I couldn't remember her name or when I had seen her last. But her face stumped me. As we were cooking, the residents starting returning to the shelter, which is closed during the day as the men and women go off to look for work, and the children go to school. Some of the children were playing together in the main room while we cooked and I saw a mother with a baby in a stroller. I had definitely seen her before and then it all clicked. Last year, my siblings and our families had "adopted" a family for Christmas fulfilling their wish lists for clothing and gifts. The little girl was four last Christmas but was tiny wearing only a size 2 toddler. Now at five, she had grown a little bit more, but was still small. The family that we adopted - who were then in transitional housing after a fire had devasted their home - were now back at the shelter. The mother, who was very pregnant last year, had had her baby - Gabriel. I went up to her and reintroduced myself. She remembered. After commenting on how her children had grown so beautifully, I asked what had happened. Plain and simple, she answered the funding for housing had run out. Without that, they found themselves back on the street. With four children, and having nowhere to turn, she came back to the shelter. Grateful as she was to be inside, the shelter had no beds for them, and so for the time being, they were being allowed to sleep on the floor of the waiting room on blankets.
I really can't imagine what I would do in this situation if I couldn't rely on my family or friends. It would be so scary and difficult to be homeless just by myself, but throw my young children into the situation? I don't know how I would manage. I didn't know what I could possibly say. I asked, "What's next? What's going to happen?" She didn't have an answer She was hoping for some type of program that will help them get into housing. "Hopefully," she said. For the time being, she was grateful that they had a roof to sleep under and were off the street.
One of the things I've noticed about Ascencia is that because of it's small size, the residents all become a part of each other's family, sort of. It's not uncommon to see the children sitting with their friends while the mom's sit and talk together at their table over dinner. It's intimate enough for parents to keep an eye on their kids and for the children to feel safe. Her younger children seemed unphased by all they had been through. I'm guessing it was because this type of trauma had become their norm. They sat with some of the other children, eating, laughing, playing with their food like children do. Angel, her son, remembered me and came up asking me if I remembered his name. I needed a hint and asked what letter it started with. Once he said "A", I remembered. And then Chris and Lauren who have been there for the past few months asked me if I remembered their names too. Of course I did. : ) I worry about these kids during the month. I wonder how this will effect all of them. The one that I fear is most affected is the teenage daughter who is about 14 but already looked mature and street smart for her age. I noticed that she was sitting with the women, listening to their talking and complaints, learning about life from these women there who have no support systems and no one to rely on. These women who have been abused and neglected. I think about my own teenage niece who has a loving family, is doing well in school, has interests and hobbies and parents that nurture and love her. Even when you have everything going for you, being a teen is tough when you think about it. So then what are this girl's odds of getting out of this situation unscathed given the emotional, psychological and physical trauma she's had to endure at a young age?
One of the things I've noticed about Ascencia is that because of it's small size, the residents all become a part of each other's family, sort of. It's not uncommon to see the children sitting with their friends while the mom's sit and talk together at their table over dinner. It's intimate enough for parents to keep an eye on their kids and for the children to feel safe. Her younger children seemed unphased by all they had been through. I'm guessing it was because this type of trauma had become their norm. They sat with some of the other children, eating, laughing, playing with their food like children do. Angel, her son, remembered me and came up asking me if I remembered his name. I needed a hint and asked what letter it started with. Once he said "A", I remembered. And then Chris and Lauren who have been there for the past few months asked me if I remembered their names too. Of course I did. : ) I worry about these kids during the month. I wonder how this will effect all of them. The one that I fear is most affected is the teenage daughter who is about 14 but already looked mature and street smart for her age. I noticed that she was sitting with the women, listening to their talking and complaints, learning about life from these women there who have no support systems and no one to rely on. These women who have been abused and neglected. I think about my own teenage niece who has a loving family, is doing well in school, has interests and hobbies and parents that nurture and love her. Even when you have everything going for you, being a teen is tough when you think about it. So then what are this girl's odds of getting out of this situation unscathed given the emotional, psychological and physical trauma she's had to endure at a young age?
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| Fun pics from HomeWalkLA 2014 with my husband Ned, niece Madi and dear friend Nancy |
As we walked through the streets we learned about homelessness in our city. There are 40,000 documented homeless men, women and children in LA. If you count the undocumented in with them, it is estimated that there is closer to 53,000. It's heartbreaking, isn't it? Everyone deserves a home, a place to feel safe. 53,000 of us here in our city don't have that luxury. When you look at the even broader picture, the statistic is even more staggering. The National Center on Family Homelessness reports "One in 45 children experience homelessness in America each year. That's over 1.6 million children. While homeless, they experience high rates of acute and chronic health problems. The constant barrage of stressful and traumatic experience also has profound effects on their development and ability to learn."
So where am I going with all of this? I don't have the answer. Well, I guess that's not really true. What we can do...what we can ALL do is to keep them in our prayers. AND we can extend the hand
of friendship and love to them as our brothers and sisters. I understand. Not all homeless people are friendly, but most are used to being invisible. When I get off my bus in downtown, it's 6:45 in the morning when I start walking the few blocks to work. I've got my headphones in as do probably 80% of those that I pass. There are homeless individuals who are just waking up from a night on the street. I can choose to keep my headphones in and pass them by acting like I don't hear them asking for help. Or I can take the headphones off and address them. I can't always help, but I can always acknowledge that I hear them. I can always say hello and listen. I can always show them compassion and treat them as I would want to be treated. Last week, I challenged my readers to get involved in their local shelters. Offer to serve or cook a meal, donate clothing, adopt a family for the holidays. Remember always that without our own support systems (our family and friends), it would be very easy for us to be in their shoes. So lets help by walking in the shoes of those that are suffering, and offer a helping hand whenever we can. It's what we're called to do.
Finally, last week I said I was going to share a Thanksgiving list with you. Stuff to be grateful for. I
actually started doing this last month and have continued well into this month and will take it beyond. I've been trying to do FIVE a day, and I'll tell you, it's really changed my perspective so much on all that I have in this beautiful life. So here I will just share some of them with you in the hopes that you'll share some of yours with me!
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| What if it really happened? What would you have? |
So here;s my Gratitude List so far:
I am grateful for....
1. This beautiful day that God has put in front of me.
2. Our beautiful grandchildren Arek and Grace who bring so much joy into my life.
3. The ability to swing a kettle bell and bend my knees today (I have arthritis and some days the inflammation is terribly painful...but for today, the knees are good!
4. My mom and the relationship I share with her
5. A boss that listened to me when I told her my job was unfulfilling to me unless I could be creative.....and allowed me to work a 4 day week and keep my benefits, so I could spend time growing my business. Or the fact that she doesn't flip out when I tell her I'm going to be late when I have to take mom to the doctor.
6. My faith...that teaches me love, compassion, tolerance and forgiveness of others (although I'm still working on being loving, compassionate and forgiving of myself)
7. My husband who truly is my understanding and caring partner
8. The relationship I share with my children. I am blessed to be close to both my daughter and son.
9. Cloudy mornings that are so beautiful and chilly
10. Music...and it's ability to color my life with memories
11. Running water/plumbing: I am always reminded of how lucky I am to have clean water, plumbing, the ability to shower and wash myself when I see my friends on the street.
12. My sister, brothers, and their spouses. The support and love that we give to one another makes life so much easier.
13. Good coffee
14. A variety of healthy beautifully colored fruits and vegetables
15. Friendly people at the bus stop that make my wait nicer
16 My health!
17. The ability to buy groceries and pay my bills
18. A phone that allows me to see photos of my grandson and how quickly he's growing
19. Bright, sunny and windy fall days like today
20. Heating that makes my home warm and cozy on chilly evenings
21. My kitties who love me unconditionally
22. Dear friends to share life's ups and downs with
23. Healthcare - I've seen both sides of this one, and life is so much easier when you have health insurance!
24. The ability to create, visualize, and actualize a project to completion
25. Curiosity that keeps me wanting to learn new things and figure out stuff
------I'll keep adding to the list daily and I hope it will encourage you to take a look at all that is beautiful in your lives too!
If you'd like to share your list (or anything else with me), or if you'd like more information about sponsoring one of our homeless outreach meals, please email me at anushnoor@gmail.com or you can find me on facebook too! Or feel free to leave your comments!
Also, we're full swing into our Thanksgiving canned food drive. If you're in our local area of Glendale, CA and would like to participate, please bring your dry and canned goods to our church by next Sunday, November 23rd. We'll be boxing up food and turkeys for Thanksgiving distribution on on Thanksgiving eve.
02 December 2013
On Love and Thanks (Audio)
ITP # 23: It's December 2. We're back to work after Thanksgiving weekend. But is it business as usual? Or are we still riding the wave of thankfulness? Take a look Inside the Pomegranate to learn how love is playing a role in ministering to the needy.
Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
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Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
Look for Inside the Pomegranate on BluBrry
Subscribe to Inside the Pomegranate by Email
Get Inside the Pomegranate on iTunes
Play Now:
On Love and Thanks
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| Where is everyone? 5:15 a.m. on Black Friday at Eagle Rock Mall |
I wanted to write about Love and Thanks. Specifically as it ties in to our homeless outreach. When we help the needy, it's not out of false thanks, like the Pharisee in the parable, who thanked God that he was not like the lowly tax collector. It is out of love. And because as Christians, we are commanded to do so by our God, Jesus Christ. This week we had an opportunity to extend a hand up twice in one week. On Monday night, our In His Shoes homeless outreach took to the streets of Skid Row in a very special evening. Friends of our In His Shoes family, Sonig and Kevork had donated the evening's meal in memory of their nephew, Harout, who was taken from us tragically at a young age. They had provided sandwiches, and our usual fare of soup, snacks and water bottles. But in addition they had donated these beautiful green apples. (I seriously felt like the witch in snow white, offering pretty apples to my friends on the street.) So we had plenty of food. We had also collected a record amount of clothing this time around. We went on our outreach with 4 cars (where we usually take 3). And we had a LOT of clothing to distribute. In fact, we had so much that I thought we wouldn't be able to distribute all of it and as we usually do, we'd drop the remaining clothing at the rescue mission. But there were many on the streets and the people were so grateful as the weather has taken a turn for the cold.
As happy and grateful as they are though, it's also difficult. Tempers do flare up. And sometimes we do witness anger and frustration. As you can imagine, when we do our outreach, we all have something to do. Whether it's distributing soup, passing out water bottles or trying to find the right size of clothing for the right person, we're all doing something. And what I do is to help wherever needed, but mostly to be the lookout to make sure things are running smoothly, and to give the call to pack it up if there's anything that might put our group in danger. As the food was being distributed, I heard voices being raised. I didn't see the soup fly, but I heard about that after the fact. But I did hear one man raising his voice to another, and tensions started rising. I called out to our team..."Pack it up! We have to go!" As much as we love being there to help our brothers and sisters, we do need to be safe. So I had made the call. Until Dolly came up and asked if we would please stay.
If you follow my blog or podcasts, you may remember me mentioning Dolly Dotty Dorothy. She is a small woman from Ghana and she is a missionary. She is on the street by choice. A vision on the streets of Skid Row, she wears all white. She very rarely asks for anything for herself, but knows who needs what. When the fight broke out, and I was ready to pack it up, it was Dolly who asked us to stay. "Please don't go. I will make him stop." The man who was causing the problems was a large man, and Dolly was small comparitively. But she went right up to him and said, "All these people will not get to eat or get the help they need because of your anger. You must stop." I don't know if it was Dolly's vibe. Or the man's realization of the situation, but I heard him say, "I'm not fighting. I didn't do anything." And he just walked away. Watching this, I really appreciated how Dolly had approached this man. He was combative, and later, I learned that he had thrown soup at one of the people that was waiting for food. She didn't yell. She didn't meet violence and anger with the same...but she approached him with love. She was firm, but her reasoning for this man to stop the way he was acting was out of love and concern for the others. Approach all things with love. A great lesson witnessed in action.
If you follow my blog or podcasts, you may remember me mentioning Dolly Dotty Dorothy. She is a small woman from Ghana and she is a missionary. She is on the street by choice. A vision on the streets of Skid Row, she wears all white. She very rarely asks for anything for herself, but knows who needs what. When the fight broke out, and I was ready to pack it up, it was Dolly who asked us to stay. "Please don't go. I will make him stop." The man who was causing the problems was a large man, and Dolly was small comparitively. But she went right up to him and said, "All these people will not get to eat or get the help they need because of your anger. You must stop." I don't know if it was Dolly's vibe. Or the man's realization of the situation, but I heard him say, "I'm not fighting. I didn't do anything." And he just walked away. Watching this, I really appreciated how Dolly had approached this man. He was combative, and later, I learned that he had thrown soup at one of the people that was waiting for food. She didn't yell. She didn't meet violence and anger with the same...but she approached him with love. She was firm, but her reasoning for this man to stop the way he was acting was out of love and concern for the others. Approach all things with love. A great lesson witnessed in action.
I noticed a lot more young people on the street this month. One young woman sat expressionless on a blanket on the sidewalk, staring straight ahead while her friend sat beside her trying to engage her in conversation. My crew appoached her with clothing, with food, she didn't want it. You could tell there was just emptiness there. She remained still and unmoving the whole time we were there. We didn't know if she was on drugs - numb to everything. Or if she was angry. But this young woman was very real, there on the street sharing a blanket with a man over two times her age. And it makes you wonder what happened that caused such a disconnect.
We met a young man in his 20's named Ryan. Yeretzgin. Susan and Hourig had been working with him to find him clothing and shoes that would fit. This man was so grateful for whatever they had provided him. He had only the clothing on his back. He was newly homeless. His problem - meth addiction. He had come to California with his girlfriend. But the drugs took over his life. Soon he was unable to pay the rent because of his habit, and he told us that although he and his girlfriend loved each other, she told him that he brought too much darkness into their relationship. They got evicted, she left him, and there he was on the street. I was surprised by how likeable and articulate he was. And he was very much aware of his shortcomings. He was in a recovery program and said he was not using. Checking in with his probation officer, he was subjected to daily drug testing and was clean. It was terribly sad. There he was trying to fix his life, yet he was right in the center - the worst possible place to be as a recovering addict - right where all the drugs are. You wonder, where are the parents? He mentioned to Susan that his father had come to visit him and stayed in a hotel as Ryan was on the street. What would cause a father to abandon his son? But in all fairness, we don't know what the situation is. I've learned that drugs can cause people to do very strange things....lying is one of them. So who knows what the situation was that caused him to want to numb himself in the first place. So we talked to him. Tried to encourage him I gave him a the names of a few agencies that might be able to help him with temporary housing and programs to help him out of his current situation. As we left him, he was so thankful. We told him we would pray for him. We were trying to encourage him and told him to fight for what he wanted. "Love conquers all!" we told him. "I believe that," he said. As we hugged him goodbye, he said that he hoped to see us again. Susan told him that as much as we would love to see him again, we hoped that he next time we came around that he would be in a better place off the street. Then he said that maybe someday he would join us by doing what we're doing - helping others on the street. We left that spot feeling a lot heavier in the heart. As a mother, I hurt for him and I couldn't get him out of my heart. And it made me realize that Ryan could be any of our own children, taking a wrong path that lead him down a difficult spiral. Our prayers continue with Ryan, and I've asked many to pray for him. I ask that you please remember Ryan in your prayers. He will need God's strength and united in prayer, we can help him. That was our Skid Row outreach.
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| A beehive of activity as we box the food for distribution |
But first, as we always do on Thanksgiving Eve, Fr. Vazken called us to a short Thanksgiving prayer service, after which he blessed wheat and salt for each of us to take to our homes. We then waited for our assignments to deliver the food boxes to needy members of our community. Sonig had a list of families that would be receiving the boxes. Each family would receive a box of food and a turkey as well. Some of the
families had come to our prayer service and it was nice to share this beautiful service with them. And I hope that they understood that our offering to them was made out of love.
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| Each needy family will receive a box of food and a ham or turkey |
I had coordinated with Ascencia - Glendale's homeless shelter - and asked if they had some transitional families that might need our help. We were able to help four families there that were in housing, working, but barely able to make ends meet. The families were contacted and told to pick up directly from the shelter. It was after 8:00 p.m. by the time I drove there. Peeking in the glass door to the dining room, the room was dark with only the kitchen light shining. I pushed the button to ring the bell. In the kitchen, I could see the woman I had met last month, cleaning the kitchen. A little boy came to the door and opened it. He had to be around 5 or so. Sarah, one of Ascencia staff, came to help me with the boxes, and together we carried them in. She was so touched. When I had told her over the phone that we had food to bring over, she said she never thought it would be so thoughtfully put together with a variety of foods for a family. She thanked us and said what we had donated would help so many for a few weeks. She got all misty eyed when she wished me a happy Thanksgiving.
We said our goodbyes, knowing that we'd be seeing each other on the 12th when we'll be preparing the meal there on our monthly outreach. As I drove home, it was close to 9:00 p.m. Later than I thought I'd be. Ned sent me a text, "Are you okay?" I was better than okay. The question made me think about what I was feeling.
Content - Because I live a full life. It may be busy and chaotic, but I don't think I'd have it any other way.
Happy - Because I was able to make others happy
Blessed - Because I am able to do God's work
Thankful - Thankful for all the usual things. My health, job, family. And that I am part of an amazing church family that joyfully (and actively) follows the teachings of Christ in helping others through acts of Love.
Today, on this December 2nd, I want to wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving. Because just as everyday is Christmas for the Christian, and every day is Easter for us too as we take the message of victory forward in our lives, every day for us, is (or should be) a day of Thankgiving. Happy Thanksgiving!
18 November 2013
All Under One Roof, Under One Sky (Audio)
ITP #21: Ever get asked for help by someone that you know is not helping themselves? If you say no, do you feel guilty? We talk about that this week, and also reflections at the homeless shelter, and continuing on with the little things to be thankful for. Anush covers "All sorts of stuff" on this week's episode of Inside the Pomegranate.
Links:
www.water.org
email: anushnoor@gmail.com
link to blog: www.pomegranatenadeye.com
Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
Look for Inside the Pomegranate on BluBrry
Subscribe to Inside the Pomegranate by Email
Get Inside the Pomegranate on iTunes
Play Now:
Links:
www.water.org
email: anushnoor@gmail.com
link to blog: www.pomegranatenadeye.com
Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
Look for Inside the Pomegranate on BluBrry
Subscribe to Inside the Pomegranate by Email
Get Inside the Pomegranate on iTunes
Play Now:
All Under One Roof, Under One Sky
Last week, my friend suggested a topic for me to cover. He said, "How about when we feel guilty when we stop to help people that always use us when they're in trouble...over and over again, without them doing the right thing for themselves. How does this make sense?" That's a big one, right? I'm sure all of us can relate to this - and it doesn't just pertain to the homeless but to anyone in need. Some people are just needy. Always making the wrong choices, asking for help just one more time. We help, and then the next thing we know, they're in trouble again. Sound familiar? It does to me. I have people in my life like this - who have been like this their whole lives. What do you do when it's someone in your family? More than likely, you'll not turn them away, but help them, albeit, help them knowing it's not the last time, right? Of course, because family is family. But let's take it a step further, because I think my friend was talking about people on the street. Do we just continue to help the same people on the street - even though we know they are not doing the best for themselves? Do we give money to the homeless guy who asks for money to buy something to eat knowing he's going to buy alcohol or a fix? I want you to hold on to this for a little bit, while I tell you what happened to us on our homeless outreach on Thursday evening because it was very special, and beautiful, and because even though 4 days have passed since then, I still can't stop thinking about it.Last Thursday, it was our night to prepare food for the homeless shelter in Glendale - Ascencia. For the past 6 years, our In His Shoes outreach has been feeding and clothing the homeless of Skid Row, and earlier this year we expanded our outreach to cook dinner at the Glendale shelter. From the very start of the evening it was magical. Late Wednesday evening, I received a text from my sister asking when we'd be going to the shelter since she had girls' clothing to donate. She has great timing. I dropped by at 6:30 Thursday morning for pick up. When I got to Ascencia that afternoon after work, I was the first of our group there. This was the first time for us at the new facility which opened last month. And I noticed a lot of people out front. I guess the rule maybe that the doors open at 4:30 for the evening, and the residents had started to gather. Within the group, I noticed quite a few children in the group, and along with them, tired parents. I rang the bell, my arms filled with groceries for salad. A few minutes later, they opened the doors and everyone came in. The kids went into the common area, some watched TV, other's played, a saw one teen doing homework. It was very homey. I went to the kitchen to get started. And then I remembered the clothing.
Edward - the resident manager - helped me with the bags in the car. I told him I had clothing for little girls and some adult clothing that I had collected as well. We brought the clothing in and put it in the dining area and I saw Edward give the "come here" hand signal to a middle aged woman. He told me, "She has 7 kids. She'll be able to use these clothes." Seven kids. Wow. She came over and I told her about the clothing and that my sister had said there was a duffel bag as well as a child's sleeping bag. She thanked me, and I went on to the kitchen to tend to the salad. But I was able to watch what was happening from where I was. The next thing I saw were two little girls that she had called over. (Later in the evening I got to meet them). These two little girls were so excited. It was like Christmas. They went through the bag of clothing, the woman holding the shirts/sweaters/pants up to size on the girls. The older girl got the pack. The little girl got the sleeping bag. They left the clothing that wouldn't work for them, and they in turn called over another couple of girls, older this time. And they were able to use some of the clothing. And this went on with more and more gathering. each taking only what they could use. I wished that my nieces could have been there to see the joy that this simple act of giving brought to this group.
Fr. Vazken came next, and I put him to work chopping tomatoes for the salad. And we talked while working - enjoying the time together before the rest of the group showed up. Next Yvette came. I had asked her to bring fruit to fill the fruit bowl. She had brought beautiful apples, oranges, bananas and pears,and they were brimming out of the large stainless steel bowl. It was really beautiful, just like those Thanksgiving cornucopias that symbolize abundance. As we took the bowl of fruit out to place on the table, I noticed the faces of the children as they were using the communal space. And then slowly they made their way over....taking an apple or a pear. The sparkle in their eyes as they were so happy to have such beautiful fruit. It made me remember stories my mom used to tell us when we were kids. Always at Christmastime, when we had finished opening our gifts on Christmas morning, amid the torn wrapping paper and the toys that we had just opened, she would tell us about how little they had growing up, and that always on Christmas morning, Santa Claus would bring them an apple. An apple! As a kid I remember thinking wow..what a gip. Right? I would think, she must not have been a very good little girl if that's all he brought her. But there and then, standing there watching these children enjoying something to basic that we take for granted, it made me understand what my mom had shared so long ago with us.
Next, Suzie and her mom came. They had prepared the main meal for the evening: chicken tikka, basmati rice, spiced lentils, rolls and butter. Lida and Jenny came to join us and brought with them dessert and juice, and there we were, working side by side in the kitchen, preparing the meal, getting things ready for the feast. I have always felt comfortable with the homeless. I've written before about how our parents would share our food with the homeless of our community. We grew up understanding that they are no different than we are. All of us created by God, who loves us all. Equally.
One of the residents there is a man I've seen for the past 3 times we've been there. He's got long hair, a wild look in this eyes, and wears a lot of jewelry, some of which is intricately beaded. I was admiring his bracelet as a fellow beader, and he told me he made all his jewelry himself. A fellow artist, he told me he had made some bad choices in his life and ended up on the street strung out on heroin until Jesus Christ saved him. He had been clean for 22 years. He shared with me that he wanted to put on a show/exhibit for the community, to give back, and had spoken to Fr. Vazken about talking to our teens about his story. He was so open and honest and ready to share his message with those who will listen. I was glad for the opportunity to talk to him and hear his story.
Dinner was served. Such abundance. Our friends lined up on the one side of the glass, with us on the kitchen side, customizing their plates. No rice? More chicken? Sure you can have a plate for your brother. So many beautiful faces, but the most beautiful of all were all the children, so hopeful, so excited. Once everyone has been served, we get a chance to make a plate for ourselves and join the residents in the dining room. At this time, we brought out this large sheet cake. Suzie had chosen this cake with pretty autum colored icing roses in the center. The little girls came over, "Who's birthday is it???" I said, "No one's birthday. We just wanted to share with you!" They watched as I cut the cake, eyeing it but not taking a piece. And then I connected. It took me way back to when I was a little girl. Watching the cake being cut and waiting, patiently, until the icing flowers were near so I could ask for a flower. These little girls were no different than I was. I stopped cutting, "Would you like a piece with a rose?" Punch stained mouths said, "Yeah!" I took the knife and cut into the center of the cake asking them which rose, what color. They were so happy! These two little girls were Shalyn and Lauren. Sisters. I could tell without asking from their beautiful blue eyes. I asked where their mother was? They told me their mother didn't live here. I asked if they lived at the shelter with their father. No, they said, they were here with their grandmother. All seven of them.
A cute little boy came over to the fruit bowl. Same pretty blue eyes as my two little freinds. Eyeing the fruit, he was digging deep into it and pulled out a pear. "I love pears!" He said biting into it. A little while later, I saw him finding another pear. I asked his name. Nathan. We talked a bit. When I commented that he was pretty smart, he said that yes, he was smart, and his favorite subject was science. And he confessed this was his fourth pear! I told him to save one for his lunch tomorrow and asked if he had gone to school today "Not today," he said, "The district didn't give me permission. But I'm going tomorrow." I'm not sure how school works when you're a homeless child, but from what he said, I guess he had to have some sort of clearance to attend.
The mood was so comfortable. We were enjoying just being there. Shalyn had become Suzie's new best friend, and was happy eating her cake and chatting her. As I was walking over, Nathan came up and tapped me on the arm. In a soft voice he said, "I really loved dinner." It was so sweet and heartwarming. I could't help but hug him. I told him how special he had made us all feel and that it made us so happy that he loved it. I asked if he'd like to meet the person who cooked the meal and took him over to Suzie. He told Suzie the same thing. She was touched, as was our whole crew. When I introduced him, he extended his hand to shake hands with us. Such a gentleman. Later, I found his grandmother who I noticed was probably close to my age. I wanted to tell her how sweet her grandchildren were, and how polite. When I first approached her, I felt her guard was up. But as soon as I told her how sweet Nathan's comment was, and how much we had enjoyed talking to him and her other two grandchildren. Her face softened and she got a little misty eyed. "Thank you," she said. "They can be a handful." I can only imagine how difficult it would be to raise 7 grandchildren on my own. God had blessed this woman with Love, strength and patience to raise these children so beautifully.
We were all so touched by the evening. There was so much good going on. During last week's bible study, Fr. Vazken talked about the family and explained our Armenian word, "Undaneek". Family. Literally translated this work means, "under one roof." Our brothers and sisters at Ascencia are family to one another. Sharing a home. Sharing life and themselves with one another. And once a month, sharing their live and love with us. God bless them all, and God bless the staff at Ascencia for the important work that they are doing.So now back to my friend's original question, about feeling guilt when you don't help someone that continually asks for your help because you know they aren't helping themselves. I'll give you my take on it, and you can tell me if you agree or disagree.
I have found, that there are two types of people that ask for help. The first are those who really need help, and the second are the scammers...those who take advantage of a soft heart. These are the ones that scope us out in the parking lot at the grocery store and tell us the story about how they need X amount of money to get a busride home because their car broke down, blah, blah, blah. Or that they can't afford diapers for their babies, and could I just spare $20. I know, I know. It could be true, but in these cases, I know they're lying because I fell for it, and then was approached by the same person a couple days later with the exact same story. Regarding the scammers, I don't contribute to them. But I do help those that are in need. Regardless of drug and alcohol addictions. But one thing I do, rather than just hand them a passing dollar is stop and talk to them. What is their name? And what is their story? Believe me, most of these people are so used to being "invisible" they're often surprised when I stop to talk.
If you want to help but think your money will go toward drugs or alcohol, then you can ask if they're hungry and get them something to eat. If you work in the city or some place where you see the same person on a daily or weekly basis, maybe you can offer them something to wear. Ask if they can use some socks (this is something we always get asked for on our homeless outreach). If you have nothing to give, you still have something important you can contribute. A smile. A conversation. Offer to pray for them. But don't give up on them. Because God NEVER gives up on us. As Christians, it's not our job to judge anyone. We will be judged the way that we judge others. Think about that. Is that what we want for our final judgement? Uh, I don't think so, right?
As far as feeling guilty for not helping them -- I understand how that feels too...and that's why I started talking to the homeless. Because I can't always give money. But I can smile or say hello. On those days, I just say, "I'm sorry, I can't today. But how are you? Are you doing okay?" At least you have acknowledged their presence rather than ignoring them as you walk by. And always, always, imagine that that person is Jesus. I saw the face of God in a homeless man when I was about 12 or 13 when my father had me take a plate of food to him on Christmas day. His eyes were piercing, blue, and kind and etched in my memory forever. I knew it was Him. And that's when my ministry started. I am doing it for God. Because of God. And because I follow the teachings Christ. To love and care for my brothers and sisters. If my God commands me to do it...then I do it, right? So that's how I view it. What do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, so please leave your comments for me below.
So that's pretty much it. But before I finish up, I just wanted to share with you this week's list of the "little things I'm thankful for." As you know, I'm focusing on being thankful for the little things that make life so beautiful. And I'm hoping you're doing this along with me. So there it is:
1. Mobility! I think I take for granted so much that I am able to walk. And I walk A LOT. But I view it as a given. I am blessed with mobility. I can get around and not have to rely on someone else to get me there. You know, I often complain about my weight, or my legs, but these legs have carried me through life. I'm so blessed to have them to get around.
2. Clean water. All we have to do is turn on the faucet and we have clean water. Do we realize how fortunate we are? We're spoiled. The water is clean coming out of the tap, yet how many of us have to drink bottled water because tap water doesn't "taste good." Did you know that 3.4 million people die each year from water related disease. tthat's about the size of the population of los angeles!) And every 20 seconds a child dies from it? Check out Water.org
3. Popcorn - I love popcorn. Have you ever thought about who thought about popping corn first? And then who thought of putting butter on it??
4. Compassion. I am thankful for compassion and the ability to help others. Some get defensive. "They're milking the system," they say. But "they" is really "we". We all belong to one another. We're all part of the same family and it's up to us to take care of one another. I'm blessed with a compasionate heart and would rather be this way than any other.
5. Saturday morning coffee. It really is the small things. Saturday morning. Relaxed coffee at home. The best ever! One cup before breakfast when I'm cooking. The second cup with breakfast. The third cup about a half hour later, after I've cleaned up the kitchen. Coffee always tastes so much better when I'm at home.
6. Beautiful colors in nature. Look around. In my front yard the leaves on my tree have changed to bright vivid yellow. Last Saturday, I took a basketmaking class and the colors in the pine needles were so subtle and beautiful. Be aware of the way the sunlight affects nature at sunrise and then at sunset. The palette changes right before our eyes.
7. And finally, this is a big one for me...
I am thankful for the ability to create. My life is happy because I get to create. Basketmaking, crocheting, jewelry, cooking, drawing, blogging. Creativity is happiness for me and I am blessed that I have the ability and means to create.
So I showed you my list...now you show me yours!! Oh come on....at least list a couple in the comments section below!! Okay, give me one! When we focus on the little things that bless our lives, we'll appreciate each day a little more fully. I hope you all have a wonderful week ahead.
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