In Control; Under Control; Out of Control; No Control (Audio)

ITP #26: Have you chosen your one word to work on this year? Or has that one word chosen you? On episode 26, Anush shares what she'll be working on for 2014...and a lifetime.
Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
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In Control; Under Control; Out of Control; No Control

Our make-shift lantern:
votif candle and ball jar

Cristos Dzunav Yev Hydnetzav!  Tzezee/Mezee medz avedis!! It's super super early on January 6 morning, and I woke up early to be the first to wish you a very blessed Theophany and Christmas and to greet you with the good news that Christ is born and revealed!   It's early Monday morning and in just a little bit we'll  be heading off to church for Badarak and Water Blessing.  We were at church last night for Christmas Eve service and I don't know what it was, but there was a JOY there. We left there happy carrying our lit candles in jars and lanterns and carried the light of Christ  and that joy back to our homes..

No, I didn't mock up this pic.  This is really
a section of the bigger picture of
chaos on my work table

Last week I wrote about that One Little Word.  The word that is going to be the word to work on for the year.  Did you give it any thought?  Did you pick one to work on?  I thought about mine. There were all kinds of possibilities.  I was thinking of the word - ORGANIZE - because I am sorely in need of some organizing - let me tell you.  If you have ever seen my
work table at home where I do my beading...it's mass chaos..and it's ALWAYS like that.  I get so excited about working, that I don't put the beads away and move on to the next project,  and then I'm left with a massive "bead soup" not to mention the wires, pliers, tools...you get the idea.  But I didn't want to base the whole year on that...so I thought about other words.

Then I thought about the word - CREATE!  Now that's a really good one.  I love to create.  And I'm happiest when I'm creating.  Beading, cooking, drawing, crocheting, painting.  I thought if I chose the word Create that would keep that in the forefront.  But that almost seemed too easy since I've always got several projects in the works.

And so then, during my morning prayer, I found my word.  And it's a word that I don't normally use.  It's not even something I like to do, but I'm guessing that's why it came to me.  The word is SURRENDER.   SURRENDER.  It's a weird one, right?  Well, let me tell you how I got to it.

I have been doing a lot of introspection lately.  I think all of us do at the start of the new year.  We start thinking of our lives moving by, and although I don't really believe in setting those resolutions, I tend to always be working on improving.  Given my past medical history, I do feel that my health is something I need to manage, and so I work on a holistic approach for body, mind, and spirit.

Well, lately, I have been trying to figure things out  about myself and my need to control.  Yep, that's me.  Sometimes I can be a control freak!  It's not something obvious, like me exerting my will on others.  It's more subtle than that.  When I say control, it's more of the need for me have everything in place.  And then want everything to go just so.  And there's the accompanying stress that goes with it.  And the unraveling (of myself) when it doesn't happen the way I have planned.  Now this is really funny to me because I like to think that I'm a "go with the flow" type of person...but in thinking about it, sometimes - not all the time, mind you, but sometimes - I'm guilty of only going with the flow when the flow is flowing my way.  

So I've been thinking about that, and working on it.  I mean, I  pray "Thy will be done" but then turn around and push my agenda to "MY will be done."  And I don't think I'm alone on this one, right?  I mean, if I'm truly committed to putting God's will ahead of mine, then am I picking up on the clues that God gives me when things don't fall into place the way that I want them to?  Most of the time, I don't get that little signal - that subtle nudge - that maybe there's a reason why I won't get my way on things rather than pushing the envelope until I do.  And then other times, I TOTALLY get the subtle nudge and still, I do what I want!

So here's what dictionary.com defines the word as:

sur·ren·der

  [suh-ren-der]

verb (used with object)

1.

to yield (something) to the  power of another

2.

to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.).

3.

to yield or resign (for example an office or position) in favor of another.

When we think of this word, we usually think of it as a weakness right?  You picture Dorothy and Toto in the Wizard of Oz being chased by the Wicked Witch when you see the witch flying her broom in the sky and spelling out SURRENDER DOROTHY!  Or we think of the white flag in old war films where one army surrenders to the other.  It's generally the weak that surrender to the more powerful, right?

Well, that's just it!  Is there anything more powerful than God?  And now taking that one step further, since we believe that God is Love....is there anything more powerful than Love?  I'm okay with being the little guy on this one, y'know?  I'm okay with admitting that I am not as strong or as powerful.  But my will is strong. And sometimes I think I know what's best rather than listening -  or feeling -  that God has a better idea.

My hope is that by  choosing this word - SURRENDER -it will help me put God's will into perspective.  I'm hoping so.  I want to be more mindful - or more connected - to God and what He has in store for me. If I give up my control and just surrender my will to God, He has already told us that he will take care of things for us, right?  So my hope is that by being mindful of this one little word, that I will be opening new doors to a more God-centered life.

Oh and wait, there's another component of this too.  Because I'm going to try to surrender my will, that is also going to mean that I can't impose my will on others.  (See, I told you I can be a control freak).  I'm older now, my children are grown so I don't have young kids to parent.  So part of surrendering is going to be about handling myself to the best of my ability, and allowing others to also do the same for themselves.  No instilling guilt (seriously this can be a big one).  No offering advice unless I'm asked.  Just allow everyone to take care of themselves (unless of course they ask for help).

The more I think about it, the harder this one sounds!  But I'm going to work on it!  Surrender to God, Surrender to Love.  Act only out of love and kindness!  It sounds pretty good to me and I have to say, that so far, so good.  I have been thinking about this and trying to act on it for the past 5 days and so far, and it's going well, so we'll see.  I only have another 360 days (and a lifetime) to go!

And so what about you?  Did you choose your word for the year?  I would love to hear from you and let me know what it is.  You can leave a comment here or email me at anushnoor@gmail.com

I hope you have a very blessed Christmas and a beautiful year ahead.
Cristos Dzunav Yev Hydnetzav! Ortnyal e Hydnootyunun Cristosi!
Christ is Born and Revealed!  Blessed is the Revelation of Christ!

Thoughts on the Old Year...and the New (Audio)

ITP #25: It's been two weeks! Have you missed your visit Inside the Pomegranate? On this special catch-up podcast, Anush shares the work that's been keeping her busy and the thoughts that are bouncing around inside the pomegranate as she prepares for the New Year. What's going to be your One Little Word for 2014? It's all Inside the Pomegranate!
Towns Burr Gallery: www.townsburrgallery.com
Ali Edwards (One Little Word) www.aliedwards.com
Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
Look for Inside the Pomegranate on BluBrry
Subscribe to Inside the Pomegranate by Email
Get Inside the Pomegranate on iTunes

Play Now: 

Thoughts on the Old Year...and the New

Hey there, did you miss me???

I haven't posted for two weeks, and it feels really good to be back!  I missed you.  Really I did!   I never meant to be away for so long, the days just flew by.  I hope you all had a beautiful and meaningful Christmas and that the message of the birth of Love is still being celebrated every day. 

I'll let you know a little bit about what's been keeping me so busy throughout this whole Christmas season. We had our homeless outreach in Glendale. If you remember, the last time I posted, I told you we were taking the kids with us to crew this month.   Cooking dinner at the shelter has gotten to be a popular outreach and I always have volunteers to crew, but this month Fr. Vazken selected 6 of our kids, ages 14-20 to come help.  We served comfort food.  Homemade macaroni and cheese, baked ham, salad and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven.  I was so proud of our kids.  They helped set up and serve, made salad and baked cookies.  But most importantly, they got to see that the residents at the shelter, especially the children that live there, are no different than they are.  The chocolate chip cookies were a hit.  And our kids had a great time serving

platefuls of warm cookies to the tables.  One family that lives at the shelter was especially grateful for the second plateful....and the third.  After we were finished and cleaned up, I asked Edward (the resident manager) if he would take the kids on a tour showing them where the residents slept and what their home at the shelter was like.  I think the kids were very moved by it all, and especially noticed the meaning of "family"...that it isn't necessarily the conventional biological family but the people that are gathered together under one roof....sharing life together.  The residents have become each other's family. And when we are there together once a month, they  become our family as well.  Edward shared with me that when our "In His Shoes" name appears as guest chef for the evening on the board, the residents know that the evening will be a good one.  He said they are grateful for whatever we serve for dinner, but they know that no matter what is served for dinner when we're there,  it is always served with LOVE.  He said that they can  all feel that.  I thought that was really beautiful.  And he's right.  We do put a lot of love into our efforts, and that is put there by God and our desire to spread His light and love to those around us. 

We also had a special Skid Row delivery the following Monday.  One of my dear friends, Sedma, who is a regular crew member for our outreach approached me.  An anonymous donor had told her they would like to donate 150 cheeseburgers to be distributed on Skid Row  Sedma asked if we could help with that.  The plan was that we meet at church at 7:00 pm.  She would pick up the warm burgers at McDonalds and bring water and chips...and we would meet up and drive down to distribute.  Well, goodness is contagious.  I had mentioned to my boss on our morning coffee walk that we had this burger delivery to Skid Row.  And she was moved and made a donation - in lieu of client gifts - to our outreach as well.  She purchased socks and fleece blankets for us to distribute.  So we did a special delivery last monday  night ...a little different than our usual hot soup and snacks.  And the people were so grateful.  There were many out on the streets that night. Just to put things in perspective.  We distributed 150 meals, over 3 locations in less than one hour.  : (  

Here's my blanket for our blanket drive

Let's see...I also had a blanket to finish up for the blanket drive.  And I did finish it.  There was a lot of bus crocheting and late night crocheting too.  But I'm glad we made it on time.  Our church distributed beautiful hand knit/crocheted and sewn blankets to the patients at City of Hope.  This an annual blanket project that we've been doing and I love that our church becomes this busy beehive of activity for Christmas.

We had our Holiday Jammin' Boutique. I'd like to give a  shout out to all of you who came out to hear the amazing gypsy jazz band - Private Cat Radio -  and to support our ministry.  It was a really fun event.  Everyone who came had a great time.  Special thanks to Bruce and Connie at the Towns Burr Gallery who opened their gallery to our event.  If you would, please show your support by "like"'ing them on their FB page or better yet by visiting their gallery or webpage.  They've got some beautiful artwork and gifts.  

I know there's something I'm forgetting here.  I mean other than the Christmas shopping and cooking.  Wait....Oh right....so this year our family decided to sponsor a family for Christmas.  We all had a great time shopping for the children in the family and trying to fulfill their wish lists.  The best part was getting to meet them when we delviered the gifts.  Their case worker arranged a meeting.  This young family had lost had been evicted from their apartment when the youngest girl was a newborn, only a week old. After 10 years of living in the same apartment, they were short on the rent by $100 and got thrown out.  Eventually they were able to get into another apartment only to have a fire destroy everything they owned.  Despite the hardships, you would never know their story of you looked at these children in the family. They were all smiles and anticipation for a joyous Christmas.  And seeing their beautiful smiles was the best gift of all...for all of us.

This reminds me of something I wanted to touch on this week.  As you know, I am the coordinator for our In His Shoes Homeless  outreach.  I like to report on it because I feel that it adds a little bit of an  inside look into what this vulnerable population is about.  Also, our outreach is supported by donations by kind donors such as yourselves.  When reporting about it, whether it's here or on facebook, it's a way for people to hear about our work and support it if they are so inclined.   So I wanted to write that any praise that is directed toward the work that we do, goes to God, whose work we are doing.  As Christians, it is our duty to love one another...and to care for one another.  Before our outreach we always do pray that God allows us to share His love and light with those on the street.  And it is only through His guidance and love that this ministry happens.  What I'm getting at is that it's not any ONE person.  You know?  It's all of us, working together, and your prayers and support in action that make it all happen.  So thank you to all of you who support us, pray for us, collect clothing, and donate to our ministry.  Because you allow us to spread God's love.  Thank you from all of us on the homeless outreach crew!

And so on to the New Year!  Tomorrow is New Year's Eve!  Are you doing anything special to ring in the new year?  What about new year's resolutions.  Are you making any?  Do you have hope that you'll be able to follow through with it?  or will they be said and done by the following week?  How did you do on this year's resolutions?  Hmmm, that's what I thought.

Well, I used to start off the new year with all kinds of resolutions.  Namely involving diet and exercise.  I mean who doesn't right?  But for the past several years I've just tried to make it more about being honest with myself.  I try.  It's not always easy.  By being honest....and then saying that I've failed to be honest, it's not like saying I'm lying to myself.  Well, if you look at it that way, it sort of is.  Here's an example.  I resolve to be honest, yes?  Okay.  And in that resolution, there's this desire to exercise.  You're with me, right?  The bottom line is...if I exercise, I will feel and look healthier, I will lose weight.  I sincerely want that.  But then when I make up excuses as to why I can't exercise, am I being honest with myself?  Do I really want the end outcome of the exercise bad enough?  So I think what I need to do personally, is to set some REALISTIC goals and make all my actions count toward the realization of those goals. Here's the inner dialogue:

Me:  "I would like to be healthier by making better choices today and in the New Year.  By doing so  I would like to see a healthier me".

Devil self:  "How about warming up a piece of that cream filled khadayif that you made for Christmas...with a nice hot cup of coffee?"

Me:  "Would eating that khadayif right now help me achieve my "healthier me" goal?  What?  No?  Then I think I'll pass.

Bravo!!! Can I hear wild applause for my tremendous willpower???
  

Do you really think it will happen that way?  I hope so, but the reality is that there will be days, and there will be days.  Right?  The reality is that the one piece of khadayif is sitting there calling me and saying, "come on...I'm here all alone...and if you eat me now...I'll be gone, thus removing the temptation...so go ahead, live a little."  Sound familiar?   The truth is that we can only do the best that we can do.  As long as we are being honest with ourselves that the BEST is truly the best that we can give.

Last year, I tried something that I had read on my daughter Ani's blog.  She had gotten it from another blogger.  It was called "One Little word"  and what you were supposed to do - the challenge - was to choose a single word that was going to be your word to work on for the year.  So my word last January was "Balance".  I was going to try to be more balanced in my life.  I don't get very much sleep (which is not good), so one of the things that I was thinking about balancing was my work life, my leisure time, my sleep time, my eating...you get the idea.  Balance.  Did I have a balanced year, you ask?  Well, uh, no.  In fact, I think it was sometime in March, just a month or so after "Balance" that I changed my word.   And that was because trying to balance made me realize how unbalanced my life was, and it was creating more stress for me and therefore causing more unbalancedness.  Does that make sense? The truth is that I don't sleep enough...and I do take on too many tasks.  But that's how it has always been with me.  I mean, would I be writing this at 12:53 a.m. if I was balanced?  Nooooo!

So my One Little Word changed in March to....ready?  :::drumroll::::  PEACE!  Tada!!!  And that word worked better for me.  I DID have a year filled with peace.  And though it wasn't all like that, I did find myself reigning myself in sometimes.  Most noticeably, I have changed my attitude about my work that I do for a living.  Whereas in the beginning of the year, I was in a constant battle with myself about my job, today, I am realizing that my job affords my healthcare coverage, the ability to keep a roof over our heads and to live a more peace-conscious life.  I also experienced a lot of peace in my prayer life this year. 

2013 was also my first full year of being a vegetarian (started in November of 2012).  And that helped to contribute to my more peaceful year as well.  So peace I can do.  Balance...not so much.  And maybe that's a challenge I'm going to have to take on another time.  

And so speaking of challenges, I thought I would challenge you.  I know you already have your own thing about what you're doing for the new year, but maybe think about this.  What is your one little word going to be for the new year? It can be anything:

Balance

peace

pray

believe

hope

ask

love

care

change

imagine

volunteer

pursue

dream

laugh

enjoy

assert

No!

Yes!

So, what's it going to be?  Only you know the answer to that, but I would love it if you would share.  And please do it on the blog on not on Facebook to keep things all in one place! Let me know what your one little word will be.  And I will share mine with you, next week.

So that about wraps it up this for this week - and this year!!!  It's been a wonderful year.  I want to wish all of you a very happy and healthy new year filled with an abundance of God's blessings for you and your family.  Thank you for all your prayers and support throughout the year.

Wishing you all a very pomegranate YEAR AHEAD filled with hope and ripe with possibilities!!!

New Year, New Beginnings, and a New Look

Happy New Year! 

2012 was a wonderful year for me.  So many life celebrations happened.  I celebrated my first year of being cancer free. My daughter Ani got married, and just last week we went to Chicago to meet (and love) our first grandchild - Grace - my step-daughter Robyn's baby girl. 

But there's more good stuff:  I was team leader for an amazing group of walkers - Team In Her Shoes - and together we walked 39.3 miles in two days to put an end to breast cancer, and in the process we raised in excess of $35,000!

On the creative front, I completed the illustrations for my first children's book which is coming out this year, and I expanded my use of metals and started working in bronze and copper (as well as silver).   

Last night, as we toasted in the New Year, I reflected back on New Years Eve 2011.  I was "done" with that year.  It was a tough one filled with cancer and surgeries, yet it was also a year of strength and focus, of hope and faith.  As tough as that year was, it was still triumphant because we lived through it.

I can't hope that 2013 will be "better" than last year.  Last year was pretty great.  But I do hope that it will be just as good.   There are definite goals for 2013.  I'm declaring it a year to be healthy, to be happy.

So here is how I plan to achieve this:
1.  Take the bus.  Starting tomorrow I'm back on the bus.  I've been driving to work for the past year (post surgery), and now I'm ready to switch back to public transportation.  This will do a few nice things for me not to mention the environment -
a) It will force me to walk (I'm planning on walking the 6 blocks from our home to and from the bus stop); b) It will allow me time to read/crochet - both of which I love to do. It's a win/win!

2.  Weight loss and Vegetarianism:  I plan on tackling both.  A couple months ago, I gave up eating meat.  I'm having a bit of trouble balancing the food.  No animal protein has meant higher carbs.  I'm feeling it.  It's time to get a grip on the balance.  So I'll be working on finding the happy medium.  Along the way I want to work out some good vegetarian low-cal recipes.

3.  Continue to make time for daily prayer.  I started this last year.   Early morning, alone time with God before starting the day.  I find that this prayer time sets the tone for the rest of my day.

4.  Grow my business.  Make time to create, photograph and list new items.  www.pomegranateandeye.etsy.com

These are the main goals.  I've got lots of ideas  I'm thinking I'd like to walk in the Avon Walk again.  The training will help my health goals (plus it's a lot of fun and for a great cause).  I'd also like to make sure I get to bed earlier than I have been.  But that remains to be seen.  And then there's blogging.  I'm hoping to blog regularly.

What about you?  Do you have goals for the new year?  Leave me a comment and let me know.  Need motivation? Let me know!

Wishing you and your family a happy, healthy, and blessed new year filled with love, compassion, peace and joy!

.

I'm Back!

Where is time going??   I just logged on here and found that I hadn't posted a blog since December 11!!!  Insane!  So much is going on around me, but time doesn't stand still enough for me to organize my thoughts and write.  I have to make time.  So today is Wednesday, Feb. 22, and I'm at the office on my lunch break, with my salad, my water, and my Django Rinehardt playing and two-plus months worth of catching up to do.

My health is good, thank God.  The worst part of surgery/reconstruction (post-mastectomy) is over, and I have a little bit of cosmetic stuff to go through in a couple months, but all in all, I am well.  Well enough to train for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer this coming September.  Wait, not only train, but lead a team of amazing women and men (20 in total) as Team In Her Shoes.  It's been fun.  We've been doing weekly training walks, fundraising, and raising awareness for breast cancer.  We each have to raise $1,800 to participate...and with 20 walkers, that makes our goal $36,000.  So we've started early and we're 23% of the way there.  info.avonfoundation.org/goto/inhershoes   So here's a shameless plug:  If you'd like to donate, here's the website!  We're walking to put an end to all cancers and will walk in memory, honor or celebration of your loved one, so send me their name and I will carry them on our 39 mile journey!

My daughter Ani and her fiance Eric set their wedding date, so that's very exciting.  They'll be getting married in the Fall, and it'll be here before you know it.  So there's exciting times ahead.  She's actually started a blog about the whole experience called Bacheegs & Love.   I linked in if you're interested to click and read.  Last month we got to go to Ani's residency graduation.  She's now a full blown pediatric nurse and on her own at Children's Hospital.

The illustration job is COMPLETE as of last night at 12:45 a.m.!!!  Yep, I scanned the last two drawings to the East Coast this morning, and now we're in the process of sending all 15 panels over for publication.  It was part of my Lenten Journey to get these done and over with already!!!  And here we are on day 3 of lent and I'm done (all except for a little sliver of cloth on the priest's waist band.  Really!)

I think the one thing that has really been suffering is my jewelry business.  I have been so busy that I haven't had a chance to work in silver or beads at all and given that this year's goal is to "Build my Business" I really need to get off the stick and push, push, push.

I did some writing on Hub Pages over Christmas.  Recipes and whatnot.  If you're interested, check it out.  http://www.hubpages.com/  and you can search for me as "ahnoosh".  Looks of canning and cooking recipes and the recipe for my grandma's yalanchi sarma.

Anyways, that's about all the time I have today.  I just wanted to check in.  I'm going to try to write more regularly.  And I have a lot of ideas.

Here's today's question:  Lent is here.  What is your lenten journey about?