March: What Happened to My One Little Word?

Here we are at March already.  And I was looking back at the past two months in relation to my "One Little Word" that I chose - BALANCE.  This is the word that I'm supposed to be striving for this year..the word that is supposed to be my focus.  So here I am with two months under my belt and 10 to go for the year, and I'm thinking - Phhhhtt!!  I'm not balanced.  I'm not anywhere near balanced!  My life is too hectic to be balanced.  So by choosing this word, did I just end up setting myself up for failure?  And the answer is YES!     Not that anyone but me is judging my progress, but I'm finding it to be just one more pressure on myself.  Truly, juggling a day job, my prayer life, family, transitioning my mama to live with us, making jewelry, blogging, etc. Life is imbalanced, and seriously, I don't see balance in the near future.  There are never enough hours to the day, never enough hours to catch up on sleep (I average 4-5 hours a night) And so why not change the word?  Okay, I will!

So I am hereby declaring my word of the year to be ::::drumroll::::  PEACE!  So, you may ask, "Is there Peace in chaos?"  Yes!  There is!  As hectic as my life is, I am at peace.  Is there room for improvement? or did I just pick something easy?  Well, yes, there is major room for improvement, and this is why I chose this word.  As you know, we're in the period of lent.  And one of my challenges is to give up gossip (even being party to the listening of gossip - which is the hard one).  By eliminating this one thing, I have found in the past three weeks, that it is helping in the area of peaceful living....and this is going to continue with me after Easter as well.  Another thing that I'm focusing on is the negativity factor.  People that know me don't think this is an issue.  I am generally very positive when it comes to anything other than my own issues.  But inside myself I do have that little voice that always feels that I'm falling short - I didn't promote my business enough; I'm still at my day job; I am not helping enough people; my house is a mess, I didn't exercise...I didn't; I couldn't...etc.

I also realized that I started focusing on the word Peace back in September of last year when during my morning prayer I received a message regarding peace, and I am acting on it (but I'll write a little more about my progress with that prayer in the near future...because I am actively working on it but I don't want to come off as being preachy.) Click here if you'd like to read that blog post:  Pray for Peace. Believe Peace.  Live Peace. 

So I'm working on the negative.  And I'm trying to find my own inner peace.  That comes through prayer, conscious effort and acceptance.  Accepting the fact that I'm not perfect and that it's okay to ask for help when I need it.  It also comes from being okay with where you are in life at the moment - not looking to keep up with everyone else; not being concerned about possessions, and "Living Simply so that others can Simply Live."

So there you have it!  My new 2013 - One Little Word is "PEACE!"  I think it's a better fit for me, and something that I am truly passionate about.

Patience, Perseverance and Faith

This past weekend was our annual MLK Retreat.  We came together - all of us with different reasons - for friendship, for community, for a getaway, for an excuse to get out of work - but all of us came together knowing that we would be spending the next three days together learning about the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and his teachings.

There is so much that went on.  So much that I'd like to share, but it's so wrapped in emotion.  I did a lot of soul searching this weekend.  I was able to define my own personal "ah-ha" moments as we shared stories and tried to relate our lives to Dr. King's teaching based on Christ's principles of love and non-violent resistance.

I think what I personally focused on was our ability to effect change when we lead a Christ-centered/love-centered life.  I thought about the Montgomery bus boycott and how effective it was in bringing about the civil rights movement.  I have known the facts for years, but what never occurred to me was that this change, this boycott, lasted over a year before a result was achieved.  Unlike the union strikes of today, an agreement was not reached in a week's or a month's time.  Over a year.  Why was this important to me?  Because it involved patience (not my strong suit), and it involved persistence, and faith.  It was a huge sacrifice for the protesters to be without transportation.  Given that most did not own their own cars, giving up riding a bus and having to arrange your own ride was not easy.  Yet they persevered, because sitting back was no longer an option.  And they achieved their goal of equality while riding on the bus.  And then the greater goal of equal rights was inevitable. 

I have a lot of goals in my life as well.  And all too often, they seem unattainable.  I've been trying to make a go of my jewelry business, but it's difficult with a full time day job...and then family obligations.  BUT it's not unattainable.  It's going to take time, persistence, patience and faith.  So I took this lesson away with me from the weekend.  Keep dreaming!  Keep praying!  Keep believing!

We were also asked to choose one of Dr. King's quotes and share why it spoke to us.  If you read my blog a few weeks back ("The Jumper"), I wrote about a person who was contemplating suicide by jumping off a freeway bridge.  Our building overlooked the scene and I was taken aback when some of my coworkers were going and coming out of the corner office laughing, making fun and just waiting for the poor man to jump.  As disgusted and saddened as I was by their actions, I was more disgusted by my inaction.  So you can see why this quote struck a chord with me:  "He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it.  He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it."  I still don't know why I remained silent that afternoon, but the following day I did speak out about my disappointment.  This quote helped me to focus on the fact that I do need to stand up, even when I'm standing alone.

Finally, on Monday morning, before leaving to come home, we were able to watch President Obama's inauguration ceremony.  I don't remember ever being so moved during this ceremony as I was this time around.  I think it was because of the emotions of the weekend.  And the president's inauguration was the perfect ending to it.  We sat in front of the laptop watching.  Tears streaming down some of our faces.  I thought of how young our country was and how much there was to learn.  But I was hopeful because of how far we had come since Dr. King's time.  But there was still so far to go.  There was still racial tension and hatred.  We prayed along with the prayers that were recited, and I was renewed with hope when they prayed in Christ's name.  Obama's speech was moving, hopeful and inspirational.  It was filled with love and hopefulness, and embracing diversity.  And the poem that was read by Bronco was the tip of the iceberg for me.  It was filled with imagery of our country.  Of all walks of life, or our day, of unity.  I posted it here on my blog if you missed it.

So we packed it up, and headed down the hill, forever changed.  I'm hopeful for America.  And I am hopeful for peace and for change.  But if we want change, we need to work toward it.  And not lose faith in our dreams. It's going to take patience, inconvenience, perseverance, and faith.  It's going to take action, and prayer, and a God-centered life.   But it is achievable if we truly want it.

Click HERE to  hear this blog entry  read by the author in an audio file on Next Step #242

Want to learn more about Dr. King?  See these links below.

What's My One Little Word?

Have you heard of the One Little Word phenomenon?  My daughter Ani first introduced me to the concept about a month ago.  An avid blogger, Ani read the blog of Ali Edwards who started the idea of choosing One Little Word to be "your word" for the year.  A word that you can focus on in your day-to-day; something to help you in your self-reflection/self-improvement.   Interesting idea, right?  I started thinking about what word I would choose.  And then with Christmas, and the birth of our grand daughter,  I forgot about it. And then in Chicago, of all places, my step-daughter's best friend and I were talking when she asked, "Do you read Ali Edwards' blog?  Have you heard about One Little Word?"  Since returning home, I have been giving some serious thought to what my word might be.

Some of my close contenders were the words believe, hope, and love.  But after thinking about my New Year's goals, I found the right word for me.  BALANCE.

I'm a busy person by nature.  My life is full, and I tend to throw myself into all kinds of projects.  I'm active in my church, our homeless outreach, being a mom (and now a new grandmom).  I'm trying to build my jewelry business and my artwork. 

I LOVE the fullness of my life; BUT more often than not, my life tends to get out of control.  I get too busy, too tired, too indulgent, too intense.  And it ends up lacking balance. 

In order for me to reach my goals for this year, my life will need focus on this important word. 
I am hoping that by owning this word and making it mine, I will be able to be healthier, and therefore happier.

Balance will help me to not be excessive (whether it comes to food choices, getting enough rest, over-committing myself, taking care of myself).  I am trying to balance vegetarianism and weight loss; exercise and rest; committing myself to causes that are important to my heart and yet getting enough rest so I don't burn out.  Balance.

So that's the word.  I'm going to try to check in once a month on this blog and let you all know whether my balancing act is working or not.  : ) 

What's your word?  I'd love to hear from you.  Let me know what it is and why you chose it.  If you'd like to learn more about the One Little Word, here is the link to Ali's blog.  And here's the link to Ani's blog: "Love Well Crafted" where you can read about her word, and also about her 52 soups project.

The Walk of Hope

We walked this weekend.  And walked, and walked and walked some more.  Went to bed  in our sleeping bags stiff and sore, and got up and walked again...until we walked a total of 39.3 miles! We walked because we couldn't not walk.  We walked for those who couldn't walk.  We walked for those who are battling cancer now, those who are survivors.  And we walked in memory of those who have lost the battle.  We walked for the poor...those who can't afford health care and mammograms. And together, we raised $4.6 million.

It was emotional.  And empowering.  Just 4 months ago, I was diagnosed for a second time, with breast cancer.  18 years ago, when I received the first diagnosis, I thought someone had pulled the rug out from under me.  I was 34, a mother of two. This time around, I knew I would make it.  Sure, there's the initial fear, but I am so much stronger now.   Back then, life was so uncertain.  Now, I know that life IS uncertain and things can change from day to day.  Life is fragile.  But we deal with it.  There are no guarantees.  So we walk when we can.  We try to make the difference.  And we try to be the change that we want to see in the world.

This was a milestone year.  Colon cancer, breast cancer, Ani's graduation from nursing school.  We had to walk.  It was a celebration of life.  Of being alive, of being WELL.  Not only physically, but mentally.  We made it through.  All of us.  Together.  Holding each other up.  One day at a time.

The idea of the walk is to take your time.  To learn the stories of those around you.  To take it all in.  Every walker has their style.  Along the walk, you meet all kinds of walkers.  Those that like to cheer.  Those that need to talk every step of the way.  The singers.  Those that follow their group.  There are those that need to be noticed, with outrageous costumes, and crazy wigs.  And there are those that like to walk alone.  Meditative and quiet.  Ani and I are quiet walkers.  We talk a bit, when there's something to talk about.  We point out beauty around us - a pretty door, a beautiful flower, a perfect spider web.  But we are just content to walk side by side in quiet.  I love this.

We were a sea of pink.  Some 1,800 of us.  Mostly women, but men as well.  All walking to make a difference.   To fill a void, to remember a mom or a sister, a wife.  We walked near a man who was walking for his wife....she was a 10 year survivor.  She had walked as much as she could that day and took the shuttle back to the wellness village.  But he kept walking.  For her.  We walked with a woman named Phyllis for a while.  She told me she was walking, "slow and steady...at my own pace."  I didn't want to invade her space, but then she opened up.  "Y'know...in the South, during civil rights times, we would have to walk.  We didn't have cars...we'd walk everywhere.  It makes me remember."  The walking connects us.  We are all walking as one.  A pink sign reads, "None of us are as powerful as ALL of us."  We are powerful.  A sea of pink.

At the Finish Line - 39.3 miles

There are hours that go by.  That first day, we walked for 10 hours.    I prayed while I walked. I was thankful for the day, for being well enough. Thankful for my family, my support system.  Thankful for medical care.  And thankful for those who walked in my shoes before I ever got diagnosed all those years back.  For those that funded the research so that I can walk today.  Yes, it was hard.  After walking all those miles, you start to hurt.  You know you have blisters, but you also know that if you take off your shoes, you'll never get them back on.  So you walk through it.  And pray.   One foot in front of the other.  And you remember.  Like Phyllis, remembering the days of the past.    I remembered my grandparents who were marched through the desert during the genocide and I called on their strength.  I had a choice.  They didn't.  I could stop, but I didn't.  We choose to walk.  Because we can. Because we CAN'T  not walk.  It's the walk of Hope.

The Post-Op Garden, Goals, & Miracles



My Garden - Six Weeks Post Op

 Back in April, with my upcoming surgery looming in the future, I set out to dig up and plant my garden.  Remember?  It took days of cleaning up the plot, pulling out the devil grass and weeds, adding new soil, watering, planting.  I knew that in the weeks to come, I wouldn't be able to dig.  Or bend.  Or use my arm.  My goal was to plant my garden before I had my mastectomy...so that all I'd need to do in the days after surgery is turn on the sprinkler and water.  And it happened.  This is a photo of my garden today...six weeks post op.  Time flew by.  A goal was set six weeks ago.  Now I'm looking at a garden that is thriving, growing, full of life.
Back in March when I got diagnosed with breast cancer round two, I knew there were things that I'd need to do to prepare for surgery.  I set another goal. 

Ani & I on graduation day - Six weeks post op

With Ani's upcoming graduation in June, I needed to make sure that I was well enough to attend this very important milestone.  In order to make it, there were things I needed to do: set my goal in my head and tell myself (okay, convince myself) that YES, I would be there at graduation with the cancer behind me.  Once I convinced myself, I needed to make it happen by making sure my healthcare team knew my intent.  So everyone involved knew I had a graduation to go to.  I think this helped tremendously as the team then became involved in my goal.  Not only were they trying to remove cancer from my body, they were working to get this mom to her daughter's graduation!  And it happened! Thank God, I am thriving. 

Like my garden, there are changes that are taking place every day.  Some are too subtle to see, even for me.  I am six weeks post op from breast cancer.  I am healing and will continue to heal for months to come.  My incisions are closed.  The bruising is almost all gone.  There is still soreness, especially under my arm and numbness throughout the breast and abdomen.  Phase two of reconstruction will happen in a few months so I'm not finished yet.  But I'm back to work.  I'm starting to be able to bend again (watch out weeds!)  And we are walking...training for Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in September (39 miles in two days!)

The other day, as I stood looking at my scars, I was commenting to Ani on what an amazing job my surgeon did.  Her comment to me was, "You know what's more amazing?  Your body's ability to heal.  The surgeon did the surgery; but it's your body that's doing all the healing."  Never thought of it that way. 

All of life is a miracle.  The idea that you can put a seed in the ground, water it, and with the help of good soil and sunshine, it will grow to a beautiful flower, or a juicy tomato.  Then there's the miracle of our daughters and sons, growing from babies to insightful, loving, caring adults.  The healing of our bodies.  The fulfillment of our dreams.  All of life.  Miracles.

Post Op Peppers



Post Op Peas



Looking to Graduation, and a Look Back on Ani

In just two days, my daughter Ani will be graduating with her Bachelors of Science in Nursing from Cal-State L.A.  This is the completion of a huge goal for her in her scholastic career; and it was a health goal for me.  Just a little over five weeks ago, I was treading the uncertain ground of mastectomy, reconstruction....breast cancer.  I had put Ani's graduation in my mind as a goal, and made it my wellness focus, letting everyone -- doctors, nurses, medical office staff, you name it -- know that I needed to be well and present at my daughter's graduation.  And by the grace of God, I am here.

As I sit here in the coolness of my dining room, she is still asleep nestled in the soft cocoon of her bed her crazy hair fluffed out all over her pillow.  It's been a busy quarter for her: putting in her precepting hours at the hospital, organizing the pinning ceremony for her class, finishing up her classes, juggling work at Children's Hospital on weekends, her relationship with her wonderful fiance, family, and being my personal nurse through my breast cancer surgery.

When the nurse first handed her to me, 24 years ago on that May morning in 1987, she looked up all wide-eyed and wet, so sweet and innocent.  I instantly fell in love with my daughter (though I think that started happening when she was in my belly).  But holding her right then and there, still fresh, we understood that this baby had been entrusted to us by God, such a blessing, for us to see through and love and care for.  And I have had the honor of being her mother through these years (and hopefully many more to come).

From a young age, she was crazy creative.  I'd put food coloring in her oatmeal and let her finger paint with her breakfast.  We pierced her ears at one because she kept taking my bangle bracelets and hanging them off her ears as earrings.  At age 3 she'd go through a box of watercolors a week, mixing colors, painting pictures.  She'd pick out her own clothes - wild combinations of colors, scarves, mix/matched shoes.  She'd take a nap in the laundry basket after the warm clothes had come out of the the dryer (hmmm...is this where the cocoon thing started?) Then came the make-believe.  We had the best toy chest in the neighborhood filled with all the costumes I'd sew for her, props from her dad's studio, and finds from mamajan's closet - Belle, Pocahontas, Princess Jasmine, Miss Maral's Arabic dancer, the orange polka dot Flamenco dance dress, the Armenian costume.  And then the packrat stage.  I'd find paper bags, purses, containers all over her room with the most random things: one pen cap, one bandaid, one gum ball.   One paperclip, one head band, one pink Barbie shoe.  (I don't think the packrat stage has truly ended yet.  : )

She has always been headstrong and a quick thinker.  Once, when she was about 3, I remember walking into her room and saying, "Ani, I want this room cleaned up!"  She turned around and sang to me the old Stones song...."You can't always get what you want!"

We went through some tough times too: breast cancer round one when she was six (the hugs from both Ani and my son Nareg helped me make it through); the divorce between Ani's dad and I, high school years with their secrecy and defiance, the "tragic youth" phase.  These were heartbreakers -- I think for both of us.  But we made it through with a lot of love and a lot of prayer.

And then the senior prom, her date that night with Eric, happy times.  High school graduation, college, jobs, the decision to become a nurse.  More goals.  Wedding proposal, engagement party, love, happiness.  Smiles.  Making a decision to work with children, getting offered the student nurse position at Children's Hospital.  School, study, more school...more study.  Getting offered the internship at Children's.  And now, just two days away from graduation, I'm sitting here looking back at all these years that have gone by in the blink of an eye!

We made it!  Ani, you are an amazing young woman.  I'm so proud of you.  I know the next few days will be filled with commotion, people, friends, family, rushing around, cooking.  But I wanted to thank you, for filling my days with love.  For your hugs and "I love you's".  For the countless text messages you send me to let me know you are safe.  For walking miles and miles with me - through the Avon Walk...and through life.  For being the best daughter I could hope for. 

I'll have to set new goals now.  Training for the walk in September, planning a wedding.  Living life, one day at a time, one blessing at a time.  Loving it all!

I have a prayer that I say after Ani leaves for work in the mornings - May God protect and keep you safe.  May you touch the lives of all those children that you help at your job and fill them with God's love - the love that you so abundantly have in your heart to help others - may it flow through you, to them and make their days a little less difficult because of your love and care. Asdvadz hedud, Ani!

May you always walk in God's light and love!!  Congratulations to my ShooShoo!

What I've Learned from Cancer

Since I've been blogging about my cancer, I've received comments and emails from people commending me for my "positive" attitude.  I've been helping another friend through this terrible disease, and that has gotten me thinking about attitude, my feelings about cancer, and coping.  I wanted to share because it hasn't all been positive...at least I haven't been.

Cancer is not fun.  In fact, it's downright scary.  My first time around with breast cancer, I was 34 with two young children.  I was NOT positive at all.  In fact, when the surgeon told me that he recommended a double mastectomy, I was ready to say yes.  I was not proactive at all.  Moreso, I was one that just accepted her fate.  My mom suggested a second opinion.  I remember telling her no.   "Mom, I have cancer!  They want to do a double mastectomy.  I've set the surgery date. I need to do this and get it over with."  I was terrified, depressed, and all I could think about was living through it to be able to raise my children.  My mom was the voice of reason.  The woman of faith that she is, she suggested that I seek a second, if not a third, opinion.  In fact, she threatened that she would be dragging me in my pj's if I didn't get up and get dressed, but we were going, and that was that.  And I did.  It was because of her that I didn't have to have a double mastectomy at 34.  I had a lumpectomy and radiation thereapy, and was able to keep my breasts for another 18 years.  That's what I needed at that time.  Someone to take me by the hand - drag me if necessary - and tell me what to do!

After cancer, after the therapy, I had that invincible high.  I joined the ranks of "survivors" I was able to raise my children.  Life was good.  And I learned a lot from my experience.  And I came to the realization that there was a lesson to be learned from everything in life.  There is a quote from Mother Teresa that I found recently:  "I know God will not give me anything I cannot handle, I just wish He didn't trust me this much."  This ties in with the lesson thing.  I don't think God gives us stuff like cancer to "handle", but I do know that He trusts us with getting through it so that we can learn from it...and carry the message of hope to others.   So after the cancer, I became adamant about reaching out to others with cancer, doing the breast cancer walks, helping others going through it because I've been "entrusted" with the recovery and making it through....now we carry the message forward.

I also learned a lesson in priorities.  I have always thrived on chaos.  My life is always "full" of too many things.  But what cancer showed me back then was I needed to slow down.  God had given me the gift of  life and an opportunity to raise my children, and spend my days with family and friends.  It was a gift and something that I needed to cherish every day.  This thinking has stayed with me for the past 18 years.  I still say "yes" to far too many things...that is just my nature, but each day is a blessing, and my family needs to always come first.

So that was then.  This time, Round Two with breast cancer, I was better prepared.  There was no fear of the unknown.  Sure, I didn't know what a mastectomy/reconstruction would be about, but I had fought the battle once before - twice if you count the colon cancer, so it was more of a call to get on my armor and fight!  Here's how I saw it this time:
Given:  I want to live.  I want to survive.  I want to see Ani's graduation, her wedding....and someday,  son Nareg's wedding (someday), my nephews and niece's graduations, celebrations.  I want to see my children be happy, have families of their own.  Okay, I knew this much.  I am a woman of faith and given this, I know I am in good hands.  God has NEVER left me alone...not through round one of breast cancer, not through colon cancer, not through my divorce.  Those were major things.  But He has also never left me alone through my day-to-day ordinary life: my jobs, my life, my financial troubles, etc.  So why should I think that he would EVER leave me alone now, in my time of need?  That wouldn't make sense, right?  Right!

So, knowing that, I just gave it all up to God.  It made absolutely no sense for me to worry about my surgery.  There's nothing I would be able to do about that part.  I would just have to resign myself to know that I was in the capable hands of my surgeons, guided by God.  What I COULD do is start focusing on the healing.  I could visualize wellness, picturing myself getting a little stronger, a little healthier every day.  I could put it in my head that I WOULD make it to Ani's graduation...and I currently visualize myself there, being present and well.  I can visualize myself as healthy, walking miles in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in September.  The mind is an amazing thing.  With the help of Christ, the healer of all, we have the power to be well!

And finally, I've learned to think of my cancer as a positive rather than a negative.  Since Round One really opened my eyes in respect to my priorities and my faith, I am viewing this as a positive.  What lesson is there to be learned?  Is it a call to slow down?  A call to take better care of myself?  To spend more time doing what I truly love?  Or is it a reminder of how precious family and friends are?  How we are all interconnected in one another's lives....and how much we are loved.  Yes to all!  It's a wake-up call! 

To all of us who have lived with cancer, or who are fighting the fight right now:  Have faith.  Believe.  Trust.  Learn.  And then put on your armor and FIGHT!!! 

Setting Goals - Pushing Forward

When I first got diagnosed with breast cancer this time around, everything came to a screeching halt.  I had so many things going on in my life, and this was just the tip of the iceberg.  One more thing to deal with...but a scary thing to deal with.  I mean, it wasn't just not meeting a deadline...it was dealing with my own health/life.   One of the good things about all this (and yes there is a good side) is that cancer causes you to STOP and assess your life.  You really figure out what is truly important to you.  You look at every day as a blessing.  And you learn to weigh things out a little....keep track of your priorities. 

And there's all this uncertainty.  In fact, everything becomes uncertain and you lose the ability to be in control of things.  Yes, your biopsy came back positive for cancer, but then you have to wait for pathology results...when?  You don't know.  You're in limbo, waiting for someone else to give you the news.  Once you get the pathology report, then you have scheduling to deal with...more tests, surgery, hospital, labs, etc., and once again, you're not in control, but the scheduler, the insurance company, hospital, whomever is.

Because of this, I find myself setting mini goals, pushing myself to meet them.  I remember when my grandmother was alive, she would do this:  "God willing, I'll be alive when you graduate high school."  Graduation came and went.  "God willing, we'll make it to see your engagement..."  Weddings, luncheons, Mother's day, celebrations, Christmas, Easter, etc. 

This time around, I found myself setting the goal of my daughter's graduation.  On June 12 she'll be graduating nursing school.  She's speaking at her graduation, and I found myself telling each of my health care providers that we needed to do everything STAT because I had a graduation to go to and didn't have time for this!  Receptionists, surgeons, anethesiologist, nurses, coworkers, insurance customer service people...everyone knew that "this mom needs to be well and present at her daughter's graduation." And they heard me, and they made it happen!

Today is May 14.  Surgery was 12 days ago.  And it looks like I'm going to be able to make it to graduation after all.  (Hopefully, I'll be able to dress normally...still have incisions that don't make that possible.)  I'm looking at life so grateful right now.  I'm looking forward to being there, watching my baby reach this important milestone.   I thank God for my life, and for the technology that we have available today to detect cancers.  I am truly blessed.  I am a two-time breast cancer survivor, and a colon cancer survivor.

And once we get to the graduation goal...there's a new goal.  The breast cancer walk...and all the training/walking/fundraising.  One goal to the next.  One day to the next.  One minute to the next.  Every day, every minute, every second is a blessing and something to look forward to.  Life is a blessing.