The Cancer Connection (Audio)

ITP Episode #7: Ever feel like you're in this exclusive club that no one wants to belong to? Welcome to the cancer club where Anush talks about physical and emotional connections made through this disease.
Links: www.pomegranateandeye.com
www.avonwalk.org/goto/inhershoes
www.thesketchbookproject.com
Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
Look for Inside the Pomegranate on BluBrry
Subscribe to Inside the Pomegranate by Email
Get Inside the Pomegranate on iTunes

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The Cancer Connection

One of the projects at the Sketchbook Project
was to draw a postcard to leave behind and pick up
one from another artist.  Here's the one I left behind.

This morning, our Team In Her Shoes went to a crew training day.  Last year we had 18 walkers.  This year our team has 14 members.  Some of my walkers decided to work on the crew - which is another difficult job as they have to work behind the scenes supporting the over 2,000 walkers who will need water, meals, medical services, and all that.  The crew has to wake up at the crazy early hours of 3 and 4 a.m. to get things set up for the walkers, so I'm very grateful, and totally impressed with my team.   So we met up for breakfast and then went to the training session and my crew members got their assignments today.  It was a fun morning, as it always is with our team, and in just a little over a month's time, we'll be at the Avon Walk in Santa Barbara, the weekend of September 7 & 8.  If you're in the area and want to come cheer us on at the finish line please do!  I will post more information about the route and the closing ceremonies which will take place at Carpinteria State Beach at 2:30 p.m on September 8, so do check out our facebook page.  And I've also posted photos from this morning's crew training day as well.  Check out Team In Her Shoes.

So after this busy morning with the team, we met up with my son Nareg to go to an L.A. art event.  Last year sometime, my daughter Ani and I participated in the Brooklyn Art Library's Sketchbook Project:  a mobile tour of sketchbooks from around the world that would, after touring, find their way back to become part of the permanent collection of the Brooklyn Art Library.  All participants signed up with a fee and received a small 5"x7" sketchbook which they could rebind if they chose to, and fill with whatever sketches, paintings, doodles, writings, collages - whatever they wanted to.  You mail it in by a certain set date and the book gets digitized so it can be viewed on the computer, and then it goes on national tour.  And today the tour ended in Los Angeles.  And so we went to be part of the sketchbook project and see ours, and other artists' works on display.

When we  got there, we signed up for a library card.  The mobile library was like a lunch truck set up with a window that opened to serve us.  We typed in our interest, or artist's name in the computer, and the librarian would brought us the requested sketchbook we chose PLUS a random artist's sketchbook.  The mobile library had over 4.500 sketchbooks and over the course of the tour, I have received emails from all over the country whenever someone has viewed my book.  

It was an incredibly enjoyable afternoon.  Ani and I kept checking out sketchbooks, and surrounding ourselves with all the amazing creativity that's out there, while Neddy and Nareg were looking over our shoulders.  One of the books that I came across was kind of a mixture of emotions.  All about life and death, friendship and loss.  Lots of color, and paint, collage and label maker lettering.  And as I read this sketchbook/journal, I felt such a deep connection with the artist.  Her name was Pamela.  And she was from Corvalis, Oregon.  She had been diagnosed with cancer - a non-curable form of cancer that was taking her life away, little by little, every day.  She wrote about how much she always liked her hair, and how she was going to miss it as it was falling out due to the treatments she was receiving.  She wrote about living life to the fullest.  About how much she was going to miss her friends.  And as I came to the finish of the small book, she was saying her final words as her life, and the book were coming to a close.  I stood there and all I could do was exhale a "Wow."  It left me numb.  I was holding in my hands a part of this woman's life.  The emotions were all there.  It left me wondering if she was still alive (though inside I could feel she wasn't).  

After returning the journal, I knew that my next sketchbook topic would be about my experience with this disease.  There are a lot of subjects that I could share about, but this one runs deep.  In fact, I had been asking Ani what I could blog about this week and she's the one that had the idea.  Why not blog about your cancer connections. And so here we are today.  

I sometimes liken having cancer, or having gone through cancer, as a membership in this exclusive club that no one wants to belong to.  Yet when you do belong, you are in it for life.  I am fortunate to call myself a three time cancer survivor.  As positive as I am, and as blessed as I feel, I still have to go to my appointments.  We're still looking for answers, and I still breathe a sign of relief when the doctor tells me things are fine and he'll see me next time.

When you have had cancer, other people seek you out.  People that are going through it.  Or family members who have relatives that are going through it.  You share your story with them, much like I'm doing with you.  Because you know what it's like to feel what they're feeling.  You know what it's like to get the diagnosis of the "Big C" and you know the terror associated with the idea that your health is not in your own hands.  You want to give comfort to others, and you want to give hope.  If you're a survivor, like I am, I feel there is an added responsibility to share your journey with others.  To encourage.  To share your faith and love with them.

When I got diagnosed at age 34 with breast cancer, it was difficult for me to find support.  Oh, they always tell you to seek support groups and such, but because most incidents of breast cancer are involving women that are a bit older, when you're younger, the support groups for your age aren't there.  At least they weren't back then.  I remember my doctor refering me to a support group at the hospital.  I took my mother with me and when I got there, it was my mom that was greeted by the members.  So I sought support through a cancer support group online.  And that's when I met my friend Carolyn.  She is a breast cancer survivor and a Hodgkins Lymphoma survivor, and we became friends.  It was Carolyn that first got me into walking for the cause.  We decided to sign up with Team In Training to walk the Alaska marathon, and we each trained separately - she in Kentucky and me here in L.A.  Sadly, a family loss kept her from participating in the walk.  And so I flew to Alaska myself and walked the Midnight Sun marathon there.  And then a couple years later, Carolyn and I crossed the Golden Gate Bridge together when we participated in the San Francisco marathon. Two friends who would never have known one another if it weren't for  cancer.  To this day, Carolyn and I keep in touch through Facebook. After years at one career, she went to school to become an oncology nurse, where she makes cancer connections of hope and love possible for her patients.

A year or two later,  on Christmas eve, about 16 years ago, I received an email.  It was from a woman named Diane from Minnesota.  She had read my cancer story on the internet.  As a young mother, she wrote me a letter, out of the blue.  "I just got diagnosed with breast cancer.  I'm terrified.  You and I are the same age.  I have two children just like you do.  Please tell me I'm going to survive this.  Please tell me I'm going to see my children grow up."  Diane and I became friends/penpals.  I was three years past my first round of cancer.  We would write to one another.  I would offer encouragement.  We shared a passion for drawing and gardening.  And we wrote about our mothers whom we both had close relationships with.
Diane went through surgery and treatment and she made it through.  We started corresponding through regular post, sending photos of ourselves with our children.  Christmas cards.  And then for a while I didn't hear from Diane.  Several months had gone by and then I received news that her cancer had returned.   I was numb.  But she was doing so well.  Three years had gone by since her first diagnosis.  Again we started writing, but this time she was seeing another doctor.  She wanted to go the holistic route and was traveling far to get to her treatments.  But she assured me she was doing well.  Life was busy for the both of us - but when out of the blue her husband called me one day, I knew something was up.  "I just wanted to call you, " he said.  "Diane passed away."  And he started crying.   He shared that the cancer was aggressive.  She didn't want to go through chemo.  She opted to live as much  of her life as she could with her family knowing her as they knew her.  She didn't want to be poisoned by the chemo and have her children see her that way.  And so the cancer claimed her life.  Diane was my first friend lost to cancer. For years I kept in touch with her mother, who would write me about how much she missed her daughter.  We shared that connection.  Her mom would write me about Diane's children and how they were growing, tell me about the flowers that always reminded me of her dear daughter.  Eventually, the her letters became less frequent, and then became annual Christmas cards.

There have been many others that I've shared the connection with.  My husband's boss who wrote me one day to ask for advice and prayers.  Calls from friends of friends that just want to connect...to talk to someone that knows what they're going through.   Men and women.  A friend recently reached out to me.   As her husband was getting ready to undergo chemo, she found herself filled with mixed emotions.  Fear, anger, frustration, and guilt. Things were supposed to be getting better, she said.  Life has been tough, and now this.   Sometimes you can help by consoling and offering whatever worked for you.  Other times, all you can do is listen and reassure that the feels are real and justified.  And offer prayer.

I don't know why some people get cancer and others don't.  Stress?  Diet?  Genetics?  Who knows.  What I know that I DON'T  believe is that God gives cancer to people.  But I do believe that faith can take cancer away.  I also believe that there are no coincidences in life...and that all things happen for a reason.  Sometimes the reason is very clear.  And other times, we don't understand the reason until years later.  When I got diagnosed with a second type of cancer, I urged my siblings to get checked.  It was only because of that, that my brother's cancer was diagnosed early enough to save him.  Had I not undergone cancer when I did that year, his cancer would have gone undetected.  Like I said, I don't believe in coincidence.  We are right where we are supposed to be.  We have always been close....but now we share the cancer connection as well.

Two years ago, I recieved a call from my cousin.  My childhood friend had just gotten diagnosed with breast cancer.  Through the years, she and I had lost touch basically seeing each other a couple times a year. But we now had cancer in common.  Ani and I were getting ready to walk in the Avon walk and that year, we added her name to our list of names we were carrying with us on our trek.  Because of cancer, we rekindled our friendship.  I'd like to think I helped her get through her battle in 2010 (at least a little), and come 2011, she helped me get through mine. Last year, she and I held hands together as we crossed the finish line after walking 39.3 miles in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. And this year, we'll be walking together again!  Friends together.  Survivors together.  Sharing more than just cancer.  Sharing happy, healthy times together walking for a cure!

As this year's walk is quickly approaching, I'm getting myself ready to once again go the distance for a cure.   This year there are 14 on our team, but only six of us walking.  Three of the six of us walkers are cancer survivors.  Two of us women; one a man.  Each of us sharing that strong connection as we walk with the hope that one day we'll be able to look back on cancer --  and all that we've experienced because of it -- as a thing of the past.  Til then, we'll keep walking, we'll keep dreaming, praying, hoping, and sharing the connection with those around us.

If cancer has touched your life, or the life of a friend or family member, please send me their name and I will carry them with me, every step of our 39.3 mile trek.  You can email them to me at anush@pomegranateandeye.com  or facebook message me.  And if you'd like to support our team, you can click on our Team In Her Shoes website address at www.avonwalk.org/goto/inhershoes

It's Not Just for Teens... (Audio)

Our children are our greatest treasure, and they grow up with the examples that we, as parents, set for them. In Episode #6, Anush tackles a 50 year old post geared toward Teens, and turns it around to allow us to see how we can facilitate our children to rising up to their full potential. It's all Inside the Pomegranate.
Links: Pomegranate & Eye handmade jewelry by Anush
Avon Walk Team In Her Shoes Page
Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
Look for Inside the Pomegranate on BluBrry
Subscribe to Inside the Pomegranate by Email
Get Inside the Pomegranate on iTunes

Play Now: 

It's Not Just for Teens...

This week, I wanted to talk about something that was posted on Facebook.  You know how it goes.  People post things, and if you like that post, you have the option of sharing it with your friends.  And although I understand what is being said in this small post, I was a little miffed by it.  I posted it up top, so please read and I'll tell you what I think.  

Now the fact that this article had no author sent up a red flag.  Is this for real? or just a phoney baloney fake aimed to get a reaction. I did some research and found this on the Huffington Post website.  It said, " According to a 2010 post on the newspaper's website (the Pierce County Tribune), staff members came across a clipping with a letter from Judge Phillip B. Gilliam of Denver, Colo., published on Dec. 17, 1959. The website seems to suggest that the letter originally appeared in theSouth Bend Tribune a few weeks earlier. The full text of what may be the original letter can be found on the Pierce County Tribune's website and it ends with different words than those presently circulating on the web but essentially says the same thing.  Basically, stop your whining and do something productive.  

Okay then...so the article is legimate.  So going back to it, what do I think is wrong with it?  I guess I found it somewhat hypocritical ...kind of a "do as I say, and not as I do".  As a parent, I think it's really important for us to understand that our children don't just have lives of their own. They don't just "turn out" the way they are.  Chances are, if we are agreeing with the letter above, then we have,  somewhere along the line,  missed teaching a lesson to our children somewhere along with road. 

There are many, many youth that are doing a LOT to change the world. For example,  nephew is just returning from a month in Armenia with a group of kids his age.  They have been volunteering their time and talents at an orphanage there.  How many of us adults can say that when we were younger we volunteered a month of our time?  (or can we say that now?) And why did they do this?  Most assuredly, you can bet that their parents were behind them teaching them the importance of giving back to their community. 

Last year I learned about Malala Yousefzai, a 14 year old Pakistani girl that was shot in the head because she dared to want an education.  Obviously, she learned the importance of learning from her father who is  a teacher.  I don't know if you've followed her story, but this is one courageous, unstoppable young woman.  Despite the fact that she almost died, she is out there today, speaking on behalf of those that are repressed and kept from reaching their full potential by being denied an education.

These are just two examples.  I'm not saying that ALL kids are doing things to help themselves and their communities, but many are.   Yet how any of us are doing all that WE can do to make the world a better place?  Or even making our communities better?  I've never been one to look down on the younger generation.  Our kids are a product of their environments.  Just like hatred, bigotry and intolerance are learned, so is complacency.   And so are compassion, caring, sharing, love, tolerance and kindness.  

So let's go through this:   The judge says, mow the lawn, wash the windows, learn to cook, build a raft, get a job, visit the sick, study your lessons and after you've finished, read a book. Some of this I agree with.  When I was growing up, Saturday meant chores day.  My job was to dust (and let me tell you, I'm not a fan of dusting to this day!)  But as children, we knew that mom couldn't do it all, so Saturday was our day to pitch in and help around the house.  As we got older, our chores broadened to include more things.  And if we wanted to do anything on Saturday night with our friends, you'd better believe our chores had to be done.  At a young age, if we include our children in small family activities, I think they grow up feeling that they are an integral part of the family.  That their contribution to the family unit as a whole, however small they may be, is important. 

As far as visiting the sick, I know this article is meant for teens, but seriously, unless we as parents have raised our children with caring and compassionate hearts, this just ain't gonna happen!  Think back -- when was the last time that WE visited the sick?  And it doesn't have to be "sick" as in physical sickness, but what about someone that spiritually sick.  Did we bring Christ's love to that person?  What about the homeless?  Do you teach your children that they are just God's children as well? or do we avoid contact, hold your purse tighter, tell your kids not to look and move on?  If the latter is true, then don't expect your children to grow up visiting the sick.  If it's a foreign concept to you, it's going to a foreign concept to them.  

Now building a raft?  I don't know about that one, but the concept is to be creative.  I think it's so important to be creative.  Challenge our minds to start something and see it through despite it's floatability. So I agree!  But again, it's up to us parents to instill in our children that creativity.  Children are naturally curious.  When they ask us questions, even if they seem over the top, rather than brush the question aside with an "I don't know" or "You're asking too many questions, don't you have something to do?", what if we answered them with "I don't know anything about raft building, but we can find out!" and then help them see it through.  If they're young, take a trip to the library.  Find books with pictures, show them.  If they want to look on the internet, sit with them, learn alongside them.  This shows them that 1) you value their curiosity and praise them for it.  2)  you want to spend time with them, and 3) that the chances of you ever building a raft are totally remote, but it's good to have knowledge about this because you an apply it's principles to other projects that may come up in life. Knowledge is power...and the more you know, the more you know!

Study your lessons and read a book.  Now this one we know has to happen.  Studying lessons is important, but telling your kid to read a book AFTER he's just finished studying? Good luck with that.  BUT it can happen if at a young age we, as parents, have set the example of the importance of reading for enjoyment.  Now this is a hard one because now we have recordings of books that kids listen to.  With all the time on facebook and playing Candy Crush Saga, (I admit...I'm hooked!) who has time for reading?  Right?  But reading for enjoyment is such a great escape.  If we as parents can be the example on this one, we are furthering our child's abilities greatly.  The best way, I've found, to go about this is to introduce your children to books at a super early age.  I'm talking about when they can't yet read.  When they are infants.  Those little board books made for their little hands.  Yes, they can't flip the page, and yes, they will just put it in their mouths.  But that's what these types of books are intended for.  Lots of colors and pictures, and a book that your baby can call his/her own.  The act of putting your child in your lap and flipping through this little 5" square of colors and shapes, the action of flipping the page for a new surprise.  All of this translates into "Books are magic!"  And then when they get older, regular trips to the library with their own library card.  Find out when they have story time at the library, and take them to it.  I know what you're thinking, "Who has time for that?"  I know, we're all busy.  But when you take your child to story time at the library, you get to look around for books that interest you too...and then guess what? your child gets to see that Mommy or Daddy like reading. "I want to be like them!  I have my own books too!"  etc.  Make time.  Cut out some of the other stuff.  If you're taking the kids to McDonalds or Starbucks, make a quick 10 minute stop at the library along the way.  Bottom line...if we want your children to be good readers, they need to see US reading and putting importance on it as well.

Your town does not owe you recreational facilities and your parents do not owe you fun. This has a lot to do with what I mentioned above.  If we can encourage creativity in our children, and the love of reading, they will never be bored.  This is the bad part about having your TV be your babysitter -- it stunts creative play.  Here's a good example. when I used to teach kindergarten and first grade, we'd start off the school year with all kinds of great stories, projects, activites, imaginative play, etc.  Come Christmas, some of my students would get play stations or game entertainment systems for gifts.  After that, their creativity and interest would come to a slow and miserable halt.  All they could think about what beating the next level and bonus points.  Creative play...what's that?  Homework would come in with minimal effort.  I could always tell which child received this "gift" because of the huge change. And these would be the kids that would be "bored" much faster than the rest.  Just something to think about when you're picking out this year's Christmas gifts for your child.

Okay, telling your child that you owe the world your time and talent so no one will be at war in sickness or lonely again?  Is this judge a parent?  That's putting so much pressure on our child. Rather than looking to our children for this, let's look at ourselves.  Are we doing everything we can to make the world a better place?  If we don't want the world to be at war, are we doing everything we can to instill peace?  Is our homelife peaceful?  Are WE living peace?  Are we helping our children to look at those that are sick, lonely, and homeless and teaching them that we are all God's children, and we all belong to one another?  Or are we telling them, "See that man there?  He didn't study and listen to his parents, and look what happened to him?"  I've heard that.  As a note, during our In His Shoes homeless outreach, we have met many educated people on the street.  We have regularly provided meals for a homeless man who is an MIT graduate from Ghana living in a box on the street.  A very sweet young man who has the misfortune of being born with a stutter,  he's educated, but "not employable" and is trying to work himself back into a normal life.  So you see what I'm saying.  Every story is different and it's not up to us to judge.

And finally the grow up and stop being a crybaby part.  We  don't need to tell our children to grow up.  They grow up too fast anyway.  In this day and age with the movies and TV that's out there, they are learning way more about "adult" subjects than is appropriate (in my opinion) for their age.  And while "crybabies" can be annoying, I think it's so important to hear our children, and be in tune to their sorrows and sadness.  Because our children are growing up in a society that is so fast paced, with peer pressure and you tube, and the world at their fingertips, being a parent can be challenging.  Do we know what our children are looking at on the computer?  Do we know what's going on in their lives?  When was the last time we asked our child who his friends are?  Do we know our child's friend's parents?  It's a fine line, I know.  We don't want to be the cop, but we can find this out in a loving way.  Sitting down together as a family at dinner is a great time to do this.  In my family, it was the one time during the day that we could all four of us sit down together and thank God for what we had, and discuss our day.  We would learn so much at that time.  By giving our children the time to talk, and giving them our full attention, we pick up on so much that is going on in their lives. In a relaxed atmosphere, they are more at ease to open up to sharing what is happening in their day to day lives. When we provide the stability of a sacred home life filled with God's love and compassion, we set a foundation for our children to reach their full potential of making the change that we wish to be a part of in this world.  We can do it...together...with our children.  

*************************************

On a separate note, special thanks to all of you who are supporting us with your kind donations for Team In Her Shoes' participation in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.  We'll be walking 39.3 miles to raise money for breast cancer research and provide mammograms to women who can't afford it.  

If you would like to partner with us, please visit our webpage at www.avonwalk.org/goto/inher shoes

Still smiling after 39.3 miles.  My husband Ned and a whole bunch of our friends and
family greeted us at the finish line.  I am a 2 x breast cancer survivor!

Recommiting (Audio)

ITP Episode #5: On this week's episode, we take a look at goals. Are you too hard on yourself? Are you a perfectionist? Anush takes a look at commitments....and then discusses re-commitment to our wellness goals with a kinder, gentler outlook. It's all here, Inside the Pomegranate!
Links: Pomegranate & Eye handmade jewelry by Anush
Avon Walk Team In Her Shoes Page
Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
Look for Inside the Pomegranate on BluBrry
Subscribe to Inside the Pomegranate by Email
Get Inside the Pomegranate on iTunes

Play Now: 

Recommiting

Hi there!  Happy Monday.,I just got back from a team training walk.  Today we set out to walk 10 miles again, but according to our GPS tracking, our round trip ended up being 9.3 miles.  Still, it was a great walk, and I got a chance to visit with two more team members today.  We walked from the Santa Monica pier, all the way to Marina Del Rey and back.  And saw some beautiful scenery, some local people and their usual Venice Beach craziness, and some incredible flowers.  If you're on Facebook, you may want to "like" our page called "Team In Her Shoes".  I posted photos from this mornings walk.

This week I wanted to talk a little bit about commitment....and recommitment.  I think it's good to kind of take a break right now, being that we're half way through the year already, and take a look at where we're going....and if we're still on track.  So here we go with this week's pomegranate seed.

I don't watch a whole lot of TV.  There's always so much to do and so much going on.  Now that we've caught up on all the past episodes of Breaking Bad on Netflix, my time in front of the TV is not spent watching but usually either writing, blogging, paying bills, posting recipes or making jewelry at my work bench, which is in the family room.  My mom has been staying with us, and having me in the same room at least allows us to spend time together.

This past week, mom was channel surfing and turned on a show called Extreme Weight Loss.  This episode chronicled the weight loss of an Iranian guy that weighed over 450 pounds.  At first we thought he was Armenian, so naturally we kept watching but I was interested in this show because of this guy's genuine commitment to his self improvement.  His story was that he wanted to get healthy.  And then one of the things he wanted to do was to propose to his girlfriend, but in Persian culture, as in Armenian, he would have to ask the girl's parents for her hand in marriage. And for that he wanted to put his best self forward.  So he worked hard at it.  Diet, exercise...and in three month's time he lost 137 pounds!  So the months went on, he lost another 67 pounds and he was looking pretty good!  The show kind of chronicles a year in 3 month periods.  So during that second three months,  hes lost a significant amount of weight..is feeling good about himself, so he goes to meet with the girlfriend's parents (which they didn't show), and the parents said no.  Our guy is a DJ and a sound engineer, and I guess his girlfriend's parents told him they loved him, but wanted a doctor or lawyer for their daughter.  The guy was devastated.  And I guess shortly after this meeting he and his girlfriend broke up.

I'm actually getting at something here, so bear with me. So what ends up happening, is that in his depression, the guy falls back on his old habits.  His trainer lives in a different state and on a weekly basis, the guy weighs in on video showing his weight in to his trainer who documents his progress.  it's all great from the outside, except that it's a lie.  We find out instead of reporting his weight to the trainer, our guy is  manipulating the video and lieing to his trainer - panning the video of  him stepping on the scale and then only showing the weight on the display.  So this continues for a while, and then the time comes for the 9 month weigh in. The trainer comes back into town and notices his client is very down. He  asks what's wrong. And the guy explains...he broke up with the girlfriend, he turned back to old habits...and....he's been lying to him about the weigh ins.  He had put on over 45 pounds. If you could see the disappointment in the trainer's face...,and even worse, the disappointment in the guy's for what he had done.  The trainer felt completely betrayed at being lied to, and then here's the part that really hit home with me:  The trainer expressed his disappointment, but brought up the absurdity of the lie.  Why would he do that?  What would cause this guy to feel that he had to "be perfect"?  Why couldn't he just be open at the beginning of his downfall and ask for help before the bad behavior escalated?  Betraying one's self is the worst ever.  The goals he had set forth to achieve were not put there by the trainer, but by himself.  So why then did he feel this need to lie?  Does this hit home with any of you?  Because it did for me. Not that I lie about things...no. But this need to have to do everything right.  All you do is set yourself up for failure, because the reality is that not one of us is perfect.

 For the guy, it was probably the first time in a long time that he had been in the limelight.  He was his trainer's best client.  He must have felt that need to not want to disappoint him after getting all the positive reinforcement not only from him, but from his family and friends who saw his transformation.  Who would want to end that run on Cloud 9, right?

But the truth of the matter is that at some point, we've got to take resposibility for ourselves, TO ourselves. We have to honor our commitments to ourselves just as much as we honor commitments made to others.  We are the ones that choose our goals.  The discipline that is learned is difficult. The road is not easy.  But ultimately, if we're to succeed, we can't do it for anyone else...to please anyone else.

And it's hard to keep that commitment going.  In the beginning, we're excited about change.  So we kind of impress ourselves, in a sense, about the newness of our commitment.  But as the weeks, months, years go by, it's hard to keep things fresh.  And I'm not talking only about weight.  Think about new year's resolutions.  Did you have a resolution that you made this year?  Have you kept it?  This applies to everything from drug or alcohol addictions, to just making some basic changes to get out and exercise more.  Or to spend one on one time with family.   Or with God.  Whatever your goal is, it takes persistence and focus.

What undermines us...okay, what undermines me is that need for perfection.  The all or nothing thinking.  We start off totally commited to the change.  And then we slip up --  of course, right?   And the once we've blown it, even a little bit, do we immediately start over?  Or do we wait for a special day or after a certain event passes in order to start over.

How about this scenario: You start a diet first thing Monday morning.  You do great on Monday and Tuesday.  Wednesday, someone brings bakery madness to your office.  You have just a half.....but then you start feeling bad that you blew it.  and you think...hmmmm...it was so good.  I'll just have the other half...and then start tomorrow.  But tomorrow is Thursday.  And that's so close to the weekend.  And you know you're going to a party on Saturday.  So you may as well, start over on Monday.  You go to the party and it's like girls gone wild...you're "stocking up" because you know come Monday you start your diet.  Right??? C'mon!  I know I'm not the only one out here that's done this.  Wouldn't we have been better of if we just understood that life is all about the journey.  There are hills, road blocks, smooth roads...and it's up to us to figure out how to navigate and then still get to our destination feeling good about ourselves.

Okay....so this is the deal.  RECOMMIT.  And do it now.  Not one of us is perfect.  So let's not be so hard on ourselves.  It IS about the journey and not the destination.   I mean, seriously, God forgives us, right? So why is it so hard to forgive ourselves? The commitment to make change is never easy.  And don't compare yourself to others.  This is a real difficult one for me.   If you follow my other blog, the Journey of the Pudgy Pomegranate, you know that I have a friend of mine that is dieting with me.  I sabotage myself by comparing my success (or lack of) with hers.  And the funny thing is that I'm not competitive in anything else.  So we go to our weekly weigh ins and inevitably, I get discouraged by my tiny loss compared to her significant one.  But how can we compare? Aren't we created uniquely by God?  So why then should I compare my dead slow metabolic rate with someone else? I'm going to try really hard to "Commit' to stop that.

Finally, the most important thing -- and the reason for all of this desire for self improvement int he first place is the idea taking care of what God has given us. We are all given this beautiful gift of life.  A few years ago, I had to take a stress test and got to see my heart beating on the screen.  It was an epiphany.  There is was.  My heart that has been beating since the first day I was born...and had gone through so much with me.  I remember being in tears watching how amazing it was...and thinking about how I had abused it.  Think about it. Our bodies are miraculous.  And it's up to us to appreciate them...and take care of what God has give us so that our bodies can serve God.  Right?  So if you've made your commitments in the past but they've fallen by the wayside, it's not too late.  Recommit.  In your heart, we all KNOW what we need to do.  We don't need anything special. We just need to do what is right for us....and then roll with the punches.  I haven't given up.  Have you?  I hope not.   I've recommitted and I will recommit over and over again.  It's a journey - a good one!--and the destination is a healthy, happy life.

On a different note:  I know Father Vazken has shared with you all about my jewelry business, and I never seem to mention it, so I'll take this time right now to give a shameless plug.  I make handmade silver, copper and bronze pomegranate necklaces out of metal clay.  I got into playing with metals several year's ago, and have been having a lot of fun with it. First it was just silver....but after buying a kiln that opened up the door to work in copper and bronze as well.  I also make eye bead jewelry.  Yes, yes...the eye beads!  Do I believe in them?  Nope.  But I do love the way they look.  And Ive designed my own beads which I have made for my company.  The name is Pomegranate & Eye (because I make pomegranates and eyes, right?).  And you can find me on Etsy at www.pomegranateandeye.etsy.com.  So I hope you'll go check out the online store.  And I'm also on Fcebook as well as Pomegranate and Eye as well as just myself. : )

The Yin and Yang of Parenting (Audio)

ITP Episode #4: Welcome Inside the Pomegranate where this week's episode will cover Pet Peeves and when to do something about them; the joy and beauty of walking, and the yin and yang of parents!
Produced by Suzie Shatarevyan for epostle.net
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